ESSAY: Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes?
학생이 쓴 원문
These days, Most people focus on too much works. They don\'t have time to know and to take care of themselves. Also, people live in a world that changes quickly without any relax or comfort. That\'s why people feel anxious like feeing not safe any where. It is kind of mental disease that modern people have. For solving this problems is needed time for ourselves and for rest. If we have some easygoing, we feel comfortable and improve our life quality.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]! Thanks for diligently writing your essay. I appreciate your ideas so keep expressing them! Good luck!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
These days, Most people focus on too much works.
>>> These days, most people focus too much on work.
They don\'t have time to know and to take care of themselves.
>>> CORRECT
Also, people live in a world that changes quickly without any relax or comfort.
>>> Also, people are living in a world that changes quickly without any relaxation or comfort.
That\'s why people feel anxious like feeing not safe any where.
>>> That\'s why people feel anxious like feeing unsafe anywhere.
It is kind of mental disease that modern people have.
>>> CORRECT
For solving this problems is needed time for ourselves and for rest.
>>> To solve this problem, there is a need for our personal time and rest.
If we have some easygoing, we feel comfortable and improve our life quality.
>>> If we are easygoing, we would feel comfortable and could improve our life\'s quality.
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