Essay: What are you saving your money for?
학생이 쓴 원문
I\\\'m always take care of saving my money because now we are living in capitalism
money is very important thing of our life also money has uncontrollable power
that mean is money has very different two sides, so we always keep one\\\'s eyes.
if we use it positively money will be the most powerful weapon that we have
so i usually keep household accounts with my incoming and outgoing in my smart phone app
it\\\'s the best way for me to check my flow of money
and i ask myself, It\\\'s really necessary things to me? are you sure? through several time
i make one\\\'s own decision, purchase or not
That\'s the way, what I am saving my money
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
Happy Monday.
Here are my corrections.
I\\\'m always take care of saving my money because now we are living in capitalism
>>I always take care of saving my money because now we are living in capitalism.
money is very important thing of our life also money has uncontrollable power that mean is money has very different two sides, so we always keep one\\\'s eyes.
>>Money is a very important thing in our life. It has two different uncontrollable power and sometimes, we focus on the only one side of it.
if we use it positively money will be the most powerful weapon that we have
so i usually keep household accounts with my incoming and outgoing in my smart phone app
it\\\'s the best way for me to check my flow of money
so i usually keep household accounts with my incoming and outgoing in my smart phone app
it\\\'s the best way for me to check my flow of money
>> If we use it positively, money will be the most powerful weapon that we have so I usually keep household accounts with my earnings and expenses in my smart phone app. It\'s the best way for me to check my flow of money.
and i ask myself, It\\\'s really necessary things to me? are you sure? through several time
i make one\\\'s own decision, purchase or not
That\'s the way, what I am saving my money
i make one\\\'s own decision, purchase or not
That\'s the way, what I am saving my money
>>And I ask myself, \" Is it really necessary things to me? Am I sure?\" Through several times, I have to make a decision whether to purchase or not. That way, I save money.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.