(Essay) What is better, good looks or a great personality?
학생이 쓴 원문
Before, I think good looks are better.
I thought pretty girls are popular and in social media, they are all pretty and beautiful.
Also in drama all the peoples are handsome and beautiful.
I want to be like them so I buy many clothes and cosmetics.
I also spend a lot of money and time.
But one day I thought why I\'m doing this.
It\'s really hard to be \"perfect beauty\".
If we keep dreaming of \"perfect beauty\" we have to spend a lot of time and money.
So now I\'m not dreaming of being pretty person.
Then I think of being good person.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]! I understand what you mean. There is always a pressure to have a good appearance but having a good personality is also important. I guess having both is the best but if we can only have one, having a great a personality is better.~~T.Dee
>>CORRECT!
>>OR: In the past, I used to think that having good looks is better than have a great personality.
I thought pretty girls are popular and in social media, they are all pretty and beautiful.
>>CORRECT!
Also in drama all the peoples are handsome and beautiful.
Also in drama all the peoples are handsome and beautiful.
>>Also in TV dramas, all the actors are handsome and beautiful.
I want to be like them so I buy many clothes and cosmetics.
I want to be like them so I buy many clothes and cosmetics.
>>CORRECT!
I also spend a lot of money and time.
I also spend a lot of money and time.
>>CORRECT!
But one day I thought why I\'m doing this.
But one day I thought why I\'m doing this.
>>But one day I thought \"Why am I doing this?\".
It\'s really hard to be \"perfect beauty\".
It\'s really hard to be \"perfect beauty\".
>>It\'s really hard to have the \"perfect beauty\".
If we keep dreaming of \"perfect beauty\" we have to spend a lot of time and money.
If we keep dreaming of \"perfect beauty\" we have to spend a lot of time and money.
>>If we keep dreaming of having a \"perfect beauty\", we have to spend a lot of time and money.
So now I\'m not dreaming of being pretty person.
So now I\'m not dreaming of being pretty person.
>>Right now, I don\'t dream of being a pretty person.
Then I think of being good person.
Then I think of being good person.
>>I think of being a good person instead.
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