ESSAY: Would you change your profession for a job that earns a lot but is considered a weird job? Ex
학생이 쓴 원문
To be honest, I might think about changing it depending on how much more money I can make. But yet I don\'t want to change my job if it is considered as a weird one. Someone around me might try to convince me that I\'d better take the opportunity since I can make much more money, but job should not be ranked by how much money it can make. There are more high values such as honor, respect or profession. It should not count on the money. I\'ve been honored with my job as an army officer which is protecting our land, nation\'s value and our people. Even if it doesn\'t give you enough money to feel yourself to be respected, it is still so worth to do. Plus, I prefer respect from my family, friends and people around me, rather than having weird job. To give up a respectful job and understand myself to having weird one, it should make a lot of money, even much more than I expected.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름] [이름],
Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you.
Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)
ESSAY: Would you change your profession for a job that earns a lot but is considered a weird job? Explain.
To be honest, I might think about changing it depending on how much more money I can make.
>>> To be honest, I might think about changing it depending on how much money I can make.
But yet I don\'t want to change my job if it is considered as a weird one.
>>> CORRECT
Someone around me might try to convince me that I\'d better take the opportunity since I can make much more money, but job should not be ranked by how much money it can make.
>>> Someone around me might try to convince me that I\'d better take the opportunity since I can make more money, but the job should not be ranked by how much money it can make.
There are more high values such as honor, respect or profession.
>>> There are more higher values such as honor, respect, or profession.
It should not count on the money. I\'ve been honored with my job as an army officer which is protecting our land, nation\'s value and our people.
>>> It should not count on the money. I\'ve been honored with my job as an army officer which is to protect our land, our nation\'s value and our people.
Even if it doesn\'t give you enough money to feel yourself to be respected, it is still so worth to do.
>>> Even if it doesn\'t give you enough money to feel respected, it is still so worth doing.
Plus, I prefer respect from my family, friends and people around me, rather than having weird job.
>>> Plus, I prefer respect from my family, friends, and people around me, rather than having a weird job.
To give up a respectful job and understand myself to having weird one, it should make a lot of money, even much more than I expected.
>>> To give up a respectful job and understand me having a weird one, then it should make a lot of money, even much more than I expected.
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