ESSAY: Would you rather be rich and depressed or broke and happy?
학생이 쓴 원문
If I have a choice of two options, I would like choose rich but depression. I strongly believe that poverty causes most of depression.
Some people argue that the most important thing is the happiness in a whole life. For example, Bhutan which is located in southeastern part of world was selected as the most happiness country of the world in 2017. The reasone is that the citizens enjoy their life regardless of wealth and status.
I agree those opinion and also wish to feel real happiness. However, I born in Korea which put emphasis on mammonism and already have been adaping these cognition. According to an article, many people sympathize with a sentense which is \'It is a better idea crying in a benz compared to crying on a bicycle.\'. I am not a psychology expert but most modern people suffer from money because of high price of houses and gloceries. Furthermore, the group of people who are poor show high suicide ratio compare to other group who have enough money.
강사 첨삭
Thanks Kelly for sending your composition. My answer was the other one but now, you have convinced me otherwise. Ha ha ha. Keep it up! ^_^
~ Teacher Irene ~
If I have a choice of two options, I would like choose rich but depression.
>>> If I have to choose for the two options, I would choose to be rich but depressed.
I strongly believe that poverty causes most of depression.
>>> I strongly believe that poverty causes depression.
Some people argue that the most important thing is the happiness in a whole life.
>>> Some people argue that the most important thing in life is happiness.
For example, Bhutan which is located in southeastern part of world was selected as the most happiness country of the world in 2017.
>>> For example, Bhutan which is located in southeastern part of world was selected as the happiest country in the world in 2017.
The reasone is that the citizens enjoy their life regardless of wealth and status.
>>> The reason for this is that the citizens enjoy their life regardless of wealth and/or status.
I agree those opinion and also wish to feel real happiness.
>>> I agree with that opinion and I also wish to feel real happiness.
However, I born in Korea which put emphasis on mammonism and already have been adaping these cognition.
>>> However, I was born in Korea where people put emphasis on mammonism and have already adapted this type of cognition.
According to an article, many people sympathize with a sentense which is \'It is a better idea crying in a benz compared to crying on a bicycle.\'.
>>> According to an article, many people agree with the sentence, \'It is better to cry in a Benz than to cry on a bicycle.\'
I am not a psychology expert but most modern people suffer from money because of high price of houses and gloceries.
>>> I am not a psychology expert but most people in this modern times suffer from lack of money because of high price in housing and grocery items.
Furthermore, the group of people who are poor show high suicide ratio compare to other group who have enough money.
>>> Furthermore, the poor group of people shows a higher suicide rate compared to those in the rich group.
~ Teacher Irene ~
If I have a choice of two options, I would like choose rich but depression.
>>> If I have to choose for the two options, I would choose to be rich but depressed.
I strongly believe that poverty causes most of depression.
>>> I strongly believe that poverty causes depression.
Some people argue that the most important thing is the happiness in a whole life.
>>> Some people argue that the most important thing in life is happiness.
For example, Bhutan which is located in southeastern part of world was selected as the most happiness country of the world in 2017.
>>> For example, Bhutan which is located in southeastern part of world was selected as the happiest country in the world in 2017.
The reasone is that the citizens enjoy their life regardless of wealth and status.
>>> The reason for this is that the citizens enjoy their life regardless of wealth and/or status.
I agree those opinion and also wish to feel real happiness.
>>> I agree with that opinion and I also wish to feel real happiness.
However, I born in Korea which put emphasis on mammonism and already have been adaping these cognition.
>>> However, I was born in Korea where people put emphasis on mammonism and have already adapted this type of cognition.
According to an article, many people sympathize with a sentense which is \'It is a better idea crying in a benz compared to crying on a bicycle.\'.
>>> According to an article, many people agree with the sentence, \'It is better to cry in a Benz than to cry on a bicycle.\'
I am not a psychology expert but most modern people suffer from money because of high price of houses and gloceries.
>>> I am not a psychology expert but most people in this modern times suffer from lack of money because of high price in housing and grocery items.
Furthermore, the group of people who are poor show high suicide ratio compare to other group who have enough money.
>>> Furthermore, the poor group of people shows a higher suicide rate compared to those in the rich group.
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