Even though doctors advise old people to get more exercise, many old people do not get enough. What
학생이 쓴 원문
As you get older, it is needed to get an exercise.
But many old people don’t exercise for themselves.
I think it occurs because it is difficult to move as they get older.
So, they need motivation to get more exercise.
In fact, my grandmother has pain in her knees so it is need to do surgery.
But she didn’t want to do surgery, so she did exercise hard and she overcame her pain.
Of course, it may be only possible for my grandmother.
But I think if people have motivation, they will do everything.
I have heard the story about the man with paraplegia.
He couldn’t walk after an accident, but he walked at her daughter’s wedding.
It is a prove that if people have motivation, they can do anything.
In conclusion, I think if old people have motivation, they can get an exercise like young people.
Thank you for reading my essay.
강사 첨삭
GOOD MORNING [이름]~! ^^ “A dream does not become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.”
Keep up the good work!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
As you get older, it is needed to get an exercise.
OR>>>> As you get older, it is necessary to exercise.
But many old people don’t exercise for themselves.
>>> CORRECT
I think it occurs because it is difficult to move as they get older.
I think it occurs because it is difficult to move as they get older.
>>> I think, it happens because it is difficult to move as they get older.
So, they need a motivation to get more exercise.
So, they need a motivation to get more exercise.
>>>> CORRECT
In fact, my grandmother has pain in her knees so it is need to do surgery.
In fact, my grandmother has pain in her knees so it is need to do surgery.
>>> In fact, my grandmother is having difficulties with her knees so she needs surgery.
But she didn’t want to do surgery, so she did exercise hard and she overcame her pain.
But she didn’t want to do surgery, so she did exercise hard and she overcame her pain.
>>> But she didn’t want to do the surgery, so she exercised hard and she overcame her pain.
Of course, it may be only possible for my grandmother.
Of course, it may be only possible for my grandmother.
>>> Of course, it may be possible for my grandmother.
But I think if people have motivations, they will do everything.
But I think if people have motivations, they will do everything.
>>>> CORRECT
I have heard the story about the man with paraplegia.
I have heard the story about the man with paraplegia.
>>>> CORRECT
He couldn’t walk after an accident, but he walked at her daughter’s wedding.
He couldn’t walk after an accident, but he walked at her daughter’s wedding.
>>>> CORRECT
It is a prove that if people have motivation, they can do anything.
It is a prove that if people have motivation, they can do anything.
>>> It is a proof that if people have motivations, they can do anything.
In conclusion, I think if old people have motivations, they can get an exercise like young people.
In conclusion, I think if old people have motivations, they can get an exercise like young people.
>>>> CORRECT
Thank you for reading my essay.
>>>> CORRECT
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