Everyone has a mission in lif1e. What do you think your mission is? What is the most important thing

2012-09-17 · 첨삭 강사 Verna

학생이 쓴 원문

I want to do lots of things which I want during my life. First thing is living in other countries for several years. I want to experience other life in other culture. But I already have my ordinary life here, so it's too hard for me. If I have a good English score in TOFLE or TOEIC, I would have a chance to study abroad. Our company support that. But it's really rare thing to have this chance. Because only one or two workers in our company can go abroad to study MBA a year. I really want to have this chance in our company. Acrually, I'm too lazy person, so I don't study for English exam such as TOFLE or TOEIC. But I will do my best for my dream right now. Second one is raising my son well. I hope he become a very friendly person, and everyone loves him always. Anyway, I think my life is mine. I can do everything and I always want to explore new things. I'm really curious person, so I hope to experience new things everytime.

강사 첨삭

Hi Ms. [이름],

Can you imagine a life filled with: vibrant joy, bright with the glorious light of an alive mind, quiet and renewing inner peace, ever expanding creative inspiration, and a heart that keeps giving? Wow! Wouldn\'t that be amazing? Then imagine you in your self-realized greatness shining you heart, light and joy out into the world. That\'s what we get in exploring things. I hope you would reach your dreams.

~Teacher Verna~

I want to do lots of things which I want during my life.

>>Correct

First thing is living in other countries for several years. 

>>Correct

I want to experience other life in other culture.

>>I want to experience life in other countries.

But I already have my ordinary life here, so it\'s too hard for me.

>>Correct

If I have a good English score in TOEFL or TOEIC, I would have a chance to study abroad. 

>>Correct

Our company support that.

>>Correct

But it\'s really rare thing to have this chance. 

>>Correct

Because only one or two workers in our company can go abroad to study MBA a year.

>>Correct

I really want to have this chance in our company.

>>Correct

Actually, I\'m too lazy person, so I don\'t study for English exam such as TOEFL or TOEIC.

>>Correct

But I will do my best for my dream right now.

>>Correct

Second one is raising my son well.

>>Correct

I hope he become a very friendly person, and everyone loves him always.

>>Correct

Anyway, I think my life is mine.

>>Correct

I can do everything and I always want to explore new things.

>>Correct

I\'m really a curious person, so I hope to experience new things every time.

>>Correct

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