Exercise is secret of my health.
학생이 쓴 원문
I keep my health by exercising. Though medicine is important to my health, but we can\'t keep our health by only medicine. I\'ll cite two reasons why exercising keeps my health.
First, exercising keep my healthy weight. Weight is one of the sign of how the person is healthy. Of course too light weight is unhealthy, but fatness is very serious healthy problem of the person\'s health. Fatness can be connected to adult disease. Exercising can prevent this problem.
Second, exercising can keep my blood health. Exercising controls my blood sugar and blood pressure. Diseases about blood are serious problems. Exercising prevent these serious diseases.
강사 첨삭
I keep my health by exercising.
First, exercising keep my healthy weight.
>> I keep myself healthy by exercising.
Though medicine is important to my health, but we can\'t keep our health by only medicine.
>>Though medicine is important for our health, we can\'t keep ourselves healthy only by medicine.
I\'ll cite two reasons why exercising keeps my health.
>> I\'ll cite two reasons why exercising keeps me healthy.
First, exercising keep my healthy weight.
>> First, exercising helps me maintain my weight.
Weight is one of the sign of how the person is healthy.
>> Weight is one of the signs of how healthy a person is.
Of course too light weight is unhealthy, but fatness is very serious healthy problem of the person\'s health.
>> Of course being underweight is unhealthy, but being overweight is a very serious health problem.
Fatness can be connected to adult disease.
>> Being overweight can cause diseases.
Exercising can prevent this problem.
>> Exercising can prevent these problems.
Second, exercising can keep my blood health.
>> Second, exercising can keep my blood healthy.
Exercising controls my blood sugar and blood pressure.
>> This is a good sentence.
Diseases about blood are serious problems.
>> Blood diseases are serious problems.
Exercising prevent these serious diseases.
>> Exercising prevents these serious diseases.
Very good job, Daniel! It\'s good that you know how important exercising is.
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