Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what
학생이 쓴 원문
Extreme sports like skydiving and rock climbing come with inherent risks, but banning them outright is not the most effective solutions. It leads to violate personal freedom because individuals have rights to engage in any kind of activities. I think risks can be minimized by educating and regulating participants. It is also important to have safety guards to secure any incidents. If it is banned by the law, there might be economic impact. Extreme sports contribute significantly to the economy through tourism, equipment sales, and related industries. Banning them could have negative economic repercussions in certain areas. Extreme sports can also give positive impacts to psychological health. It improves mental health, confidence and stress relief. However, it\'s essential to balance these arguments with considerations for public safety. Authorities should ensure that adequate precautions are in place to minimize risks to both participants and bystanders.
강사 첨삭
A fantastic day to you Mr. [이름]~!^^ The arguments in the essay were exceptionally
well-developed, consistently clear and well justified. You have effectively presented your ideas in an
interesting and critical manner and you have
presented a good quality and variety of examples. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Extreme sports like skydiving and rock climbing come with inherent risks, but banning them outright is not the most effective solution.
>>> CORRECT!^^
It leads to violate personal freedom because individuals have rights to engage in any kind of activities.
>>> CORRECT!^^
I think risks can be minimized by educating and regulating participants.
>>> CORRECT!^^
It is also important to have safety guards to secure any incidents.
>>> CORRECT!^^
If it is banned by the law, there might be economic impact.
>>> CORRECT!^^
Extreme sports contribute significantly to the economy through tourism, equipment sales, and related industries.
>>> CORRECT!^^
Banning them could have negative economic repercussions in certain areas.
>>> CORRECT!^^
Extreme sports can also give positive impacts to psychological health.
>>> CORRECT!^^
It improves mental health, confidence and stress relief.
>>> CORRECT!^^
However, it\'s essential to balance these arguments with considerations for public safety.
>>> CORRECT!^^
Authorities should ensure that adequate precautions are in place to minimize risks to both participants and bystanders.
>>> CORRECT!^^
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