failure
학생이 쓴 원문
I did not give such a care of some specific situation of my team member
When I worked in yul-ha branch, I had 6 of team members.
2 male, and 4 females. I regarded myself was a quite good leader.
Because I made a quite clear work order, and I am a person usually did not get angry. So it was very surprising when one of my team member ask me quit her job. She was the mother of two kids, and told me she was too tired for both heavy workload and children care. She had worked well without any problems, so I did not expect what she was saying. Anyway I helped her with changing the work less pressured, persuaded her not to quit.
Finally she did not quit the job and she is still working in the company.
When I bumped into her, she always say thanks to stop her quitting.
For these case, I learned that for leader of team, personal interact is also very important to manage team better. After that I changed my mind, and try to communicated more with team members.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!^^
I hope my corrections will help you with your studies and practice. ^_^
I did not give such a care of some specific situation of my team member
>>> I did not give such care to some specific situations of my team members.
When I worked in yul-ha branch, I had 6 of team members. 2 male, and 4 females.
When I worked in yul-ha branch, I had 6 of team members. 2 male, and 4 females.
>>> When I worked in Yul-Ha branch, I had 6 of team members with 2 males and 4 females.
I regarded myself was a quite good leader.
>>> I regarded myself as quite a good leader.
Because I made a quite clear work order, and I am a person usually did not get angry.
Because I made a quite clear work order, and I am a person usually did not get angry.
>>> Because I made quite a clear work order, I am a person who usually do not get angry.
So it was very surprising when one of my team member ask me quit her job.
>>> So it was very surprising when one of my team members asked me to quit her job.
She was the mother of two kids, and told me she was too tired for both heavy workload and children care.
>>> She was a mother of two kids and told me she was too tired for both heavy workload and children care.
She had worked well without any problems, so I did not expect what she was saying.
>>> She had worked well without any problems, so I did not expect what she said.
Anyway I helped her with changing the work less pressured, persuaded her not to quit.
>>> Anyway, I helped her to change to a less pressured work and persuaded her not to quit.
Finally she did not quit the job and she is still working in the company.
Finally she did not quit the job and she is still working in the company.
>>> Finally, she did not quit the job and she is still working in the company until now.
When I bumped into her, she always say thanks to stop her quitting.
When I bumped into her, she always say thanks to stop her quitting.
>>> When I bumped into her, she always say thank you for stopping her from quitting.
For these case, I learned that for leader of team, personal interact is also very important to manage team better.
For these case, I learned that for leader of team, personal interact is also very important to manage team better.
>>> In this case, I learned that being a leader of a team, personal interaction is also very important to manage the team better.
After that I changed my mind, and try to communicated more with team members.
>>> From that incident, I changed my mind to try to communicate more with my team members.
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