first homework

2024-10-09 · 첨삭 강사 Chammy

학생이 쓴 원문

I think that private schools can give better education quality for students than public schools. Unfortunately, people tend to do their own best because of their salary based on performance although they are a teacher. Therefore, doing best to achieve goals will eventually improve the quality of education. In that sense, public schools tend to keep their performance for plain. However, there is a problem in that case. Private schools start treating students with customers. And they consider how to make good money from students. It can create discrimination between students and students, also in the way teachers treat students. That point is that private schools move away from education in the true sense. Conversely, public school can create a real educational place that is fair to everyone regardless of money or social status. Therefore, I think public and private schools are at the opposite point at the same points.

강사 첨삭

Hello, [이름] [이름]!~
I see how you emphasized your main ideas. In addition, parents still need to set aside time for their children\'s education in order for them to retain what they learn in school and maintain the necessary knowledge.
Chammy


I think that private schools can give better education quality for students than public schools.
>>Correct
Unfortunately, people tend to do their own best because of their salary based on performance although they are a teacher.
>>Unfortunately, people tend to do their best because of their salary based on performance although they are teachers.
Therefore, doing best to achieve goals will eventually improve the quality of education.
>>Therefore, doing the best to achieve goals will eventually improve the quality of education.
In that sense, public schools tend to keep their performance for plain.
>> In that sense, public schools tend to keep their performance plain.
However, there is a problem in that case.
>>Correct
Private schools start treating students with customers. And they consider how to make good money from students.
>> Private schools start treating students as customers. And they consider how to make good money from students.
It can create discrimination between students and students, also in the way teachers treat students.
>>It can create discrimination between students and students, as well as in the way teachers treat students.
That point is that private schools move away from education in the true sense.
>>Correct
Conversely, public school can create a real educational place that is fair to everyone regardless of money or social status.
>>Conversely, public schools can create a real educational place that is fair to everyone regardless of money or social status.
Therefore, I think public and private schools are at the opposite point at the same points.
>> Therefore, I think public and private schools are at the same and opposing points.

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