First homework essay.
학생이 쓴 원문
It was nice time talking with you. I\'m looking forward to see you in next class. Have nice weekends!
강사 첨삭
Good afternoon Diego~!^^ It\'s nice to read your first essay ever! Thanks for having an impressive understanding and depth of knowledge about your interests in writing topics. Keep it up!>>> TEACHER GEMMASome people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?I agree that student should participate in unpaid community work in their free time.>>> CORRECT~^^First, school is not the only place students can learn about the society. >>> CORRECT~^^There are many fields which are not included in the books.>>> CORRECT~^^By joining the unpaid community work, some students might find out their new talents.>>> CORRECT~^^ I saw a story in newspaper, about a student found his talent after joining unpaid community program. >>> I saw a story in [ the ] newspaper, about a student [who] found his talent after joining an unpaid community program. After volunteering in planting crops, he chose his dream to become a farmer.>>> CORRECT~^^Second, it is good method to help local community maintenance.>>> Second, it is [ a ] good method to help [the] local community\'s maintenance.Some local community is in trouble that young people leave the town to find a job.>>> Some local community is in trouble [when] young people leave the town to find a job.
There is a lack of labor capability that should be fulfilled. >>> CORRECT~^^This problem can be solved when students use their free time. >>> CORRECT~^^Students can work in libraries, local community festival, local market and etc.>>> CORRECT~^^Finally, student will learn to become a member of local society.>>> CORRECT~^^ One of main goals in education is to produce a collaborative member of society. >>> CORRECT~^^By working in unpaid community, students will learn community network, loyalty.>>> CORRECT~^^ In the future, they will be the great asset in local society.>>> CORRECT~^^These are the reasons why I agree that students should join the unpaid community work.>>> CORRECT~^^ Thank you.
There is a lack of labor capability that should be fulfilled. >>> CORRECT~^^This problem can be solved when students use their free time. >>> CORRECT~^^Students can work in libraries, local community festival, local market and etc.>>> CORRECT~^^Finally, student will learn to become a member of local society.>>> CORRECT~^^ One of main goals in education is to produce a collaborative member of society. >>> CORRECT~^^By working in unpaid community, students will learn community network, loyalty.>>> CORRECT~^^ In the future, they will be the great asset in local society.>>> CORRECT~^^These are the reasons why I agree that students should join the unpaid community work.>>> CORRECT~^^ Thank you.
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