For employees productivities
학생이 쓴 원문
Thank you so much!!!!
강사 첨삭
Hi Ye [이름]!
I want you to explain the use of the word \"opponent\" in this composition.
I didn\'t quite get that.
I hope you won\'t lose your spirit in trying to develop yourself.
Every opportunity for practice is important.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
A decade ago, people thought only a role of employers was important compared to a role of employees.
>> A decade ago, people thought only the role of employers was important compared to the role of employees.
As
a re[이름]t, employers did not respect employees and ignore their efforts for companies.
>> As a re[이름]t, employers did not respect employees and ignored their efforts for companies.
However, many
owners now aware the importance of a role of employees and respect their jobs because owners know it
brings benefits to owner eventually.
>> However, many owners are now aware of the importance of the role of employees and they respect their jobs because owners know it brings benefits to them eventually.
This essay will explain the ways how companies or owners can increase
staff productivity for their benefits.
>> This essay will explain the ways on how companies or owners can increase staff productivity for their benefits.
Firstly, owners should respect employees’ rights.
>> Correct
Relationship of owners (companies) with staffs is very
important and the relationship starts from when they respect their rights each other.
>> Relationship of owners (companies) with the staff is very important and the relationship starts when they respect each other\'s rights.
It is easy to get respect
from employees, however, it is not easy that employers respect their workers.
>> It is easy to get respect from employees, however, it is not easy for employers to respect their workers.
This is because employers
normally think they hire their employees and so, employers think the employees should obey to them.
>> This is because employers normally think they hire their employees and so, the latter should obey them.
It
looks right, but the re[이름]t from the attitude brings damages to owners.
>> It sounds right, but the consequences of the attitude brings damages to owners.
Ignored employees would quick the
jobs and find another jobs.
>> Ignored employees would quit their jobs and find other ones.
The owner should hire another employee but he/she would leave if the owner
do not change the attitude.
>> The owner should hire another employee but he/she would leave if the owner does not change his/her attitude.
Eventually, the owner should teach and hire employees again and again.
>> Correct
Secondly, employers should give an appropriate salary to employees.
>> Correct
The amount of salary is very
important element to employees.
>> The amount of salary is a very important factor for employees.
When employees get jobs, they think the amount of salary.
>> When employees get jobs, they think of the amount of salary.
They want to
earn money and compensate their labor through salary.
>> They want to earn money and for their labor to be compensated through their salary.
Therefore, if employers want to increase their profits,
they should be concerned the suitable salary for employees.
>> Therefore, if employers want to increase their profits, they should be concerned of the suitable salary for employees.
In conclusion, living together is quite complicated.
>> Correct
People should think others’ opinions and relationships
not only their benefits.
>> People should think of others’ opinions and relationships and not only their benefits.
I believe that when people respect others, opponents will also respect.
>> Correct
Moreover, it
will brings more profits or benefits to people.
>> Moreover, it will bring more profits or benefits to people.
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