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2014-11-13 · 첨삭 강사 Barbara

학생이 쓴 원문

Why did you apply to our company? I really like to speak english. I used to live in the Philippines an Australiafor 3 years. I have experianced working in a hospital as a nurse more than 7 years. I think I can combine two of these very well. so, i can work very well, for this international medical center. What is your strength? I have warm heart. I really get along wth people. what is your weakness? I really count on time too tight. sometimes, It makes me stress , so i need take a deepbreath. what is your goal? I want to be a leader of nursing department. so, I can take all these field.

강사 첨삭

Hi Julie! Good Evening**,   How are you doing? Please check all of the corrections that I\'ve made. I do hope that these things will help. If you have any questions, just let me know.   T. Barbara**,   Why did you apply to our company?>> Correct! OR:>> Why do you want to work in our company?I really like to speak english. >> I really like to speak in English.I used to live in the Philippines an Australiafor 3 years.>> I used to live in the Philippines and Australia for 3 years. I have experianced working in a hospital as a nurse more than 7 years. >> I have been working in a hospital as a nurse more than 7 years. I think I can combine two of these very well. >> I think I can combine these two very well.so, i can work very well, for this international medical center.>> So, I can work very well for this international medical center.What is your strength? >> Correct! I have warm heart. >> I am kind.I really get along wth people.>> I really get along with people.what is your weakness?>> What is your weakness?I really count on time too tight. >> Correct! OR:>> I value time too much.sometimes, It makes me stress , so i need take a deepbreath.>> Sometimes, it makes me stress so I need to take a deep breath.what is your goal? >> What is your goal?I want to be a leader of nursing department. >> I want to be a leader of a nursing department.so, I can take all these field. >> So, I can take all these fields.      

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