For Jisun Oral Test 3

2021-11-18 · 첨삭 강사 Faith

학생이 쓴 원문

Introduction Hi! My name is [Name], a management guru. Did you throw in the towel? Have you been thinking of the worst-case scenario on your business? or do you think that you drop the ball? No worries. I’m here to tell you all about insight and the best strategy. By virtue of today’s speech, you can manage and get your coffee shop business right. It’s understandable you think it is almost impossible to bring your company back to life. However, if you trust me when I say, you will be in a league of your own throughout your business. Today’s speech format is “a problem and a solution.” Ideas about repairing company culture Problem1 - Lack of managing employees Solution for problem 1. To get the ball rolling, we need a manager at each coffee shop who has the ability to care for employees mentally. Employees get the runaround by customers. They do need care from someone first so that hit it out of the park.

강사 첨삭

Nice work, Jane! I think you could share more effective business strategies. I can\'t wait to read the next one!-Faith-
Introduction
>> CORRECT
Hi! 
>> CORRECT
My name is [Name], a management guru. 
>> CORRECT
Did you throw in the towel? 
>> Have you thrown in the towel on your business?
Have you been thinking of the worst-case scenario on your business? 
>> Have you been thinking of the worst-case scenario in your business? 
or do you think that you drop the ball? 
>> Or do you think that you drop the ball? 
No worries. 
OR It\'s time to get rid of your worries.
I’m here to tell you all about insight and the best strategy. 
>> I’m here to tell you all about my insights and the best strategies. 
By virtue of today’s speech, you can manage and get your coffee shop business right. 
>> CORRECT
OR By virtue of today’s presentation, you can manage and get your coffee shop business going right. 
It’s understandable you think it is almost impossible to bring your company back to life. 
>> It’s understandable if you think that it is almost impossible to bring your company back to life. 
However, if you trust me when I say, you will be in a league of your own throughout your business.
>> However, trust me when I say you will be in a league of your own throughout your business.
Today’s speech format is “a problem and a solution.”
>> CORRECT
OR Today’s presentation has two main points: a problem and a solution.
Ideas about repairing company culture
>> Here are some ideas about repairing company culture:
Problem1 - Lack of managing employees
>> Problem 1 - Lack of Managing Employees
Solution for problem 
>> Solution to the Problem:
1. To get the ball rolling, we need a manager at each coffee shop who has the ability to care for employees mentally. 
>> 1. To get the ball rolling, we need a manager in each coffee shop who has the ability to take care of his/her employees\' mental health. 
Employees get the runaround by customers. 
>> Sometimes, employees get the runaround from customers. 
They do need care from someone first so that hit it out of the park.
>> So, they do need to be cared by someone first so that they could hit it out of the park!

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