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2020-07-08 · 첨삭 강사 Jasper

학생이 쓴 원문

They have many things to do, video for learning, laptop, game machine, smartphone. Nowadays, even classes use electronic devices. When they grow up, they have to have a computer for homework. Communication with friends also uses a mail or cellphone. It`s beco[이름]g a non-contact environment. Do children know how to write on paper? I don`t want any more electronic devices around the children.

강사 첨삭

Hi Mrs. [Name]! I appreciate your efforts on doing your homework. You wrote a great answer. Keep up the good work all the time. See you later in class. Have a great day!

Here are your corrections:

They have many things to do, video for learning, laptop, game machine, smartphone. >> CORRECT
Nowadays, even classes use electronic devices. >> CORRECT
When they grow up, they have to have a computer for homework.

>> CORRECT
OR
>> ...they must have a computer...

Communication with friends also uses a mail or cellphone. >> CORRECT
It`s beco[이름]g a non-contact environment. >> CORRECT
Do children know how to write on paper? >> CORRECT
I don`t want any more electronic devices around the children. >> CORRECT

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