Gain weight

2020-03-27 · 첨삭 강사 Jasper

학생이 쓴 원문

After got marry, women undergo many changes. Change df hormone and environment made them gain weight. It,s bad for my health Also when I was dressed I was not pretty as much as a young girl. I want to look beautiful even when I become a grandmother. I think that inner beauty is more important.

강사 첨삭

Hi Mrs. [Name]. I appreciate your efforts in doing your homework. Keep it up. You are doing great. - T. Jasper

Here are your corrections:

After got marry, women undergo many changes.
>> After getting married, women undergo many changes.

Change df hormone and environment made them gain weight.
>> We usually undergo hormone change and gaining weight.

It,s bad for my health. Also when I was dressed I was not pretty as much as a young girl.
>> It\'s bad for the health and when we are dressed, we are not as pretty as when we were still young.

I want to look beautiful even when I become a grandmother. I think that inner beauty is more important.
>> I want to look beautiful even after beco[이름]g a grandmother but I still think that inner beauty is more important.


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