Games are as important for adults as they are for children.

I definitely agree that games are as important for adults as they are for children. First, these days adults are very stressful and games are able to make them relax. For example, every night before I go to bed, I always play game. It makes me forget all of the stressful things. Some expert says it is not good to sleep, however I think if I go to bed holding all of these stressful situation, it might more bad to take a deep sleep. Second, the game is good to break the ice. When we meet someone first, it is easy to start our conversation regarding game. These days games are connected with SNS, we can share our game score with our friends, and It is became the starting point of our conversation. These are the reasons why I agree that games are as important for adults as they are for children.

Hello there [이름]! ^^   Thank you for your well thought-out essay. ^^ You are getting better in your compositions that most of the corrections (which are very minimal) are  reiterations of the vocabulary to help with the fluency. ~~   See you in class!   All good things, ==Teacher Charlie==        I definitely agree that games are as important for adults as they are for children.>> CORRECT First, these days adults are very stressful and games are able to make them relax. >> I agree because, first, adults these days are quite stressed and games help them relax. For example, every night before I go to bed, I always play game. >> For example, every night before I go to bed, I always play some games.   It makes me forget all of the stressful things. Some expert says it is not good to sleep, however I think if I go to bed holding all of these stressful situation, it might more bad to take a deep sleep. >> It makes me forget my stress. Some experts claim that this is not a good way to get a good night\'s sleep however, I think that holding on to stress is even worse. Second, the game is good to break the ice. When we meet someone first, it is easy to start our conversation regarding game. These days games are connected with SNS, we can share our game score with our friends, and It is became the starting point of our conversation.>> Second, games are good in breaking the ice. When we meet someone for the first time, it is easy to start a conversation regarding games. These days, games are networked to SNS making it easier to share game scores with our friends which could lead to a conversation starter. These are the reasons why I agree that games are as important for adults as they are for children. >> CORRECT