girl group exposure level..

Many teenagers have a dream; becoming a star! However difficult it is, too many teencagers are inclined to be a singer or actor. I don't mind for them singing a song or playing in movies in their early ages. What I do concern is that their exposure level is getting higher and higher. It is now common for girl group to wear hot pants, top which show their legs and belly straight. I'm sure that a lot of teenagers will follow their fashions, and it is surely not appropriate for teenagers who study in the school. For this reason, I suggest that the government limit the level of girl's exposure when they are on the stage. And another thing, I'm just wondering that they don't have a student life when they are singing on the stage. They might feel lonely as they have no reminiscene

Hello [이름]! You’re such a smart student! I admire you for being so enthusiastic. Moreover, I agree to what you are stating in your composition. It is true that they will miss a lot of things if they just focus in their career. Indeed, they will earn a lot of money yet it will not be enough. Because having a reminiscence is still good. Nonetheless, you did well in this writing. Just be careful of the capitalization of words as well as the usage of punctuation marks. Enjoy your weekend and have a good Friday! Take care! See you on Tuesday! “,) ABBY   girl group exposure level.. >> correct >> GIRL GROUP EXPOSURE LEVEL (Make sure that the first letter of the words in your title are capitalized)   Many teenagers have a dream; becoming a star! >> Many teenagers have a dream of becoming stars! However difficult it is, too many teencagers are inclined to be a singer or actor. >> However, it is difficult because too many teenagers are inclined to be singers or actors. I don't mind for them singing a song or playing in movies in their early ages. >> correct What I do concern is that their exposure level is getting higher and higher. >> correct It is now common for girl group to wear hot pants, top which show their legs and belly straight. >> It is now common for girl groups to wear high shorts and skirts and  high tops to show their legs and abs. I'm sure that a lot of teenagers will follow their fashions, and it is surely not appropriate for teenagers who study in the school. >> I’m sure that a lot of teenagers will follow their fashion and it is surely not appropriate for young students who studies in Middle and High Schools. For this reason, I suggest that the government limit the level of girl's exposure when they are on the stage. >> correctAnd another thing, I'm just wondering that they don't have a student life when they are singing on the stage. >> Another thing is that they couldn’t experience a student’s life when they are just singing on stage. >> Another this is, they couldn’t have a free life like other students have if they will just focus in their career. They might feel lonely as they have no reminiscene >> They could be lonely in the future for having no memories in their childhood. >> They could regret of not having reminiscence.