Give reasons why you should be happy about your life. :)

2019-11-27 · 첨삭 강사 Oneil

학생이 쓴 원문

With today\'s advancement of society, It is very important to be happy during in your life. According to reports, happiness make a Endorphin in the human body. It make person happy and motivate a person to be active. There are several benefits such as bright personality and positive thinking. If i will have bright personality, There will be good people around you. Good people are an important asset in my life. because, if i will be negative circumstance or serious odds, They will be very useful assistants. Additionally, If i will be happy, being positive. I\'m not going to worry and I\'m not going to get stressed out. So, i should be happy in my life.

강사 첨삭

This is a very nice answer dear. :) 

With today\'s advancement of society, It is very important to be happy during in your life.
>> With today\'s advancement of society, it is very important to be happy during our life time.
  
 According to reports, happiness make a Endorphin in the human body.
>> According to the reports, happiness makes Endorphin in the human body. 
  
 It make person happy and motivate a person to be active. 
>>  It make a person happy and motivates a person to be active. 
 
There are several benefits such as bright personality and positive thinking.
>> There are several benefits such as having a bright personality and having positive thoughts.
  
 If i will have bright personality, There will be good people around you. 
>>  If I will have bright personality, good people would be around me.  
  
Good people are an important asset in my life. because, if i will be negative circumstance or serious odds, They will be very useful assistants.
>> Good people around me are important assets in my life because, if I will be in a negative circumstance or serious odds, they will be very useful assistants.
  
 Additionally, If i will be happy, being positive. 
>>  Additionally, I will be happy, being positive. 
  
I\'m not going to worry and I\'m not going to get stressed out. So, i should be happy in my life.
>> I\'m not going to worry, and I\'m not going to get stressed out. So, I should be happy.

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