Global warming
학생이 쓴 원문
It seems to be the same question as \'which is the first chicken or egg?\'. Both of them are surficiently serious problems in the world nowadays. Even global warming and deforestate is getting serious, we do not have justifible solutions. So, we should deeply think about the inevitable problems.
Firstly, global warming is injuring our lifestyle by weather. Nowadays, we can experience many irregular situation like hails and heavy snowy in April. Furthermore, some of cities and island are dissapearing by increasing sea level. Also, record of highest temperature in summer is changing every year. We will live in different world after 30 years.
On the other hand, deforesting is also one of critical problems that we are facing now. Forests are the most important role to prevent global warming. Additionally, ecosystem is destroying by deforestation of human. If we will not stop to breaking ecosystem, nobody can survive in the earth.
In conclusion, we should support to resolve those problems.
강사 첨삭
Hi Jay!
There are some common terms used for specific situations.
Take note of the expressions I suggested below.
Remember them and use them in appropriate topics.
Keep practicing!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
It seems to be the same question as \'which is the first chicken or egg?\'.
>> It seems to be the same question as \'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?\'.
Both of them are surficiently serious problems in the world nowadays.
>> Both of them are significantly serious problems in the world nowadays.
Even global warming and deforestate is getting serious, we do not have justifible solutions.
>> Even global warming and deforestation are getting serious, we do not have justifiable solutions.
So, we should deeply think about the inevitable problems.
>> Correct
Firstly, global warming is injuring our lifestyle by weather.
>> Firstly, global warming is injuring our lifestyle because of the weather.
Nowadays, we can experience many irregular situation like hails and heavy snowy in April.
>> Nowadays, we can experience many irregular situations like hails and heavy snow in April.
Furthermore, some of cities and island are dissapearing by increasing sea level.
>> Furthermore, some cities and islands are disappearing because of rising sea levels.
Also, record of highest temperature in summer is changing every year.
>> Also, the record of the highest temperature in summer is changing every year.
We will live in different world after 30 years.
>> We will live in a different world after 30 years.
On the other hand, deforesting is also one of critical problems that we are facing now.
>> On the other hand, deforestation is also one of the critical problems that we are facing now.
Forests are the most important role to prevent global warming.
>> Forests play the most important role in the prevention of global warming.
Additionally, ecosystem is destroying by deforestation of human.
>> Additionally, the ecosystem is being destroyed because of deforestation committed by humans.
If we will not stop to breaking ecosystem, nobody can survive in the earth.
>> If we will not stop destroying the ecosystem, nobody can survive on earth.
In conclusion, we should support to resolve those problems.
>> In conclusion, we should support the resolution of these problems.
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