Government investment in the arts
학생이 쓴 원문
I was trying to find the article of art but.... steal I don\'t know... help me
강사 첨삭
Hi Ye [이름]!
You have discussed the issue really well.
Good job!
Keep it up!^^
Just familiarize yourself with the expressions I introduced.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Art is the way of expression about contemporary human’s life and culture.
>> Art is the way of expression of contemporary human’s life and culture.
Therefore, people want to develop the part of art in
society.
>> Therefore, people want to develop the role of art in society.
However, others think that it is more important to spend the supporting money for vulnerable people orin public services
than improvement of the art.
>> However, others think that it is more important to spend public funds on vulnerable people or on public services than the improvement of the arts.
This essay will discuss which opinion is more reasonable in society and I would express my opinion
as well.
>> Correct
Art is everywhere in our lives.
>> Correct
Even ancient people loved art with various ways such as music, drawing, dance and so on.
>> Even ancient people loved art in various ways such as music, drawing, dance and so on.
At
present, people keep develop art with countless ways and tools.
>> At present, people keep developing art with countless ways and tools.
However, there are many people who cannot enjoy the art
because of poverty.
>> However, there are many people who cannot enjoy art because of poverty.
They do not have time to go to theaters or music festivals for earning money.
>> They do not have time to go to theaters or music festivals in order to save money.
In other cases, there are people
who think that it is a waste of money to spend in art since government can extend a budget for social services.
>> In other cases, there are people who think that it is a waste to spend money on art when the government can extend budget for social services.
But, I believe that
art cannot be separated from society.
>> However, I believe that art cannot be separated from society.
I think a drama, song, movie and other kind of things are all in terms of art.
>> I think shows, songs, movies and others of the same kind are all forms of art.
Even though
people are poor and have no leisure time, they want to watch movies and listen music when they are working.
>> Even though people are poor and have no leisure time, they want to watch movies and listen to music when they are working.
Sometimes,
directors or makers of movie and music criticize contemporary societies’ problems.
>> Sometimes, directors or makers of movies and music criticize contemporary societies’ problems.
These all actions can improve our society not
only increasing budget for social services.
>> All of these actions can improve our society and not only increase budget for social services.
In conclusion, I believe that everything has a balance and it makes better quality of life.
>> In conclusion, I believe that everything has a balance and it makes the quality of life better.
In many situations, there are solutions
without using money.
>> Correct
Art is one of the means to people for improving their quality of lives.
>> Art is one of the means for people to improve the quality of their lives.
Therefore, government should invest
the part of art in society.
>> Therefore, the government should invest in the arts in society.
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