Hannah, could you check these sentences?

Q: Are you willing to pay more tax if medical service could be free for everyone in your country? I guess they can’t afford a lot of hospital fee. Maybe, they are bankrupt. I think the tax for the free medical service is need. In Korea, medical service is not free. If I don’t have money for medical service, I can’t have it. It didn’t make sense. Q: What are the bad sides of playing computer games? If I play computer game for long time, I can’t concentrate on my work. Of course, it relives my stress sometime. But usually, it is bad for my health. After playing a computer game, I feel a headache and a backache. Also, I can’t do anything when I play computer games. I recommend you exercise such as soccer, basket ball than computer game because these are good for health. When I was a university student, I got a part time and club activity experiences. Q : Do you think that leadership can be acquired if a person tries really hard? I could get a leadership in there. I could coordinate my team member’s opinion very effectively with my good leadership. Work can be more smoothly. I will send Jenifer to other department. I will replace other person with Jenifer.

Good morning my dear [이름]!^^ You answered the questions well but I have my corrections for you just the same so check them out for me.^O^ Take care now and I\'ll see you later! ~t. Hannah~ Q: Are you willing to pay more tax if medical service could be free for everyone in your country?I guess they can’t afford a lot of hospital fee. >>I guess people nowadays can\'t afford to pay fot hospital fees.Maybe, they are bankrupt. >>Correct! Or>>Maybe they don\'t have enough money already.I think the tax for the free medical service is need. >>I think the tax for such is a need.In Korea, medical service is not free. >>Correct!If I don’t have money for medical service, I can’t have it. It didn’t make sense.>>Correct!Q: What are the bad sides of playing computer games?If I play computer game for long time, I can’t concentrate on my work. >>Correct!Of course, it relives my stress sometime. >>Correct! But usually, it is bad for my health. >>But, whether I like it or not, it is still bad for my health.After playing a computer game, I feel a headache and a backache. >>Correct!Also, I can’t do anything when I play computer games. >>Correct!I recommend you exercise such as soccer, basket ball than computer game because these are good for health. >>Correct!When I was a university student, I got a part time and club activity experiences.>>When I was in my university years, I got a part time job and attended club avtivities as well.Q : Do you think that leadership can be acquired if a person tries really hard?I could get a leadership in there. >>Leadership can be acquired.I could coordinate my team member’s opinion very effectively with my good leadership.>>Correct! Or>>I can ask for my team memebers\' opinion about a certain tpoic, that way I could become a good leader.Work can be more smoothly. >>Work can become more smooth.I will send Jenifer to other department. >>Correct!I will replace other person with Jenifer. >>I will replace Jennifer.