Happy birthday to me!^^

2011-12-13 · 첨삭 강사 Karen

학생이 쓴 원문

Today is my birthday.And it only comes once in the year.But my dad is out of the country because of his bisinuss.I was sad but it happened often so i am ok.So instead my dad bought me a iphone4s!!!I was so happy!!It is very portable and has lot of important imformation inside that phone, so it is very useful too me.But it is very expensive.I wish the the phone would not get crack.And i am going to use this smartphone very smart!!

강사 첨삭

[이름]!!!! Weeee!! Saeng il chuk ha hae! It\'s your birthday today! I am so happy for you. I hope you will be blessed with more wonderful things. It\'s good to know that you and your bestfriend are now okay (~__~). Treasure your friendship, as it is more important than any of the diaries or lipsticks that you got today. I wish that you and your family will always be healthy. More birthdays for you my dear!! (^_^)                         Today is my birthday. >>Correct! (^__^) And it only comes once in the year. >>It only comes once a year. But my dad is out of the country because of his bisinuss. >>But my dad is out of the country because of his business. I was sad but it happened often so i am ok. >>I was sad but it happens often so I am ok. Or >>I was sad but I\'m used to him going on a business trip out of the country so I am ok. So instead my dad bought me a iphone4s!!! >>So, instead my dad bought me an iPhone 4! I was so happy!! >>Correct! It is very portable and has lot of important imformation inside that phone, so it is very useful too me. >>It is very portable and it has a lot of important applications, so it is very useful to me. But it is very expensive. >>Correct! I wish the the phone would not get crack. >>I wish the phone would not get a crack. Or >> I wish that it will always be in good condition. And i am going to use this smartphone very smart!! >>I am going to use this smart phone wisely!  

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