Have you been disappointed about a trip? Where and why?
학생이 쓴 원문
In 2016 summer, my family were planing to have summer vacation in East Canada and USA.
During summer vacation, We visited NewYork city especially Time square. Me and my children had admired NewYork city where is very well known in the world. NewYork had fantastic activities and girgeous architectures and stores however, people were not.
People who we met at the Time square were too commercial, they focused only money didn\'t care anybody.
There was Ironman. Actually he was a fake.
He just wore an ironman costume to take a picture with kids who visited Time square. My son took a picture with him, after that I payed 10 dollars.
He forced me $10 more just for one cellphone picture.
At that moment, I felt little scary and deeply disappointed. Also dirty roads and dark alleys inside the city.
강사 첨삭
Hi Young Won!
I never expected to hear such a story from a famed city in the world. I actually love New York from the movie perspective and it always seems like the best in the world. However upon reading your composition, it revealed some honest and unpleasant conditions of this place.
With your experience, it made me realize that New York also has its weak sides in spite of all its hype.
Thank you for sharing these information and the time to think and compose this essay.
Your grammar, spelling, and expressions are getting better each time.
See you in class!
-T. Donna =)
>> In 2016 summer, my family was planning to have a summer vacation in East Canada and USA.
During summer vacation, We visited NewYork city especially Time square. Me and my children had admired NewYork city where is very well known in the world.
During summer vacation, We visited NewYork city especially Time square. Me and my children had admired NewYork city where is very well known in the world.
>> During summer vacation, we visited New York City especially Time Square. Me and my children had admired New York City where it is very well known in the world.
NewYork had fantastic activities and girgeous architectures and stores however, people were not.
>> New York has fantastic activities and gorgeous architectures and stores. However, people were not.
People who we met at the Time square were too commercial, they focused only money didn\'t care anybody.
People who we met at the Time square were too commercial, they focused only money didn\'t care anybody.
>> People who we met at the Time Square were too commercial. They focused only on money and didn\'t care about anybody.
There was Ironman. Actually he was a fake.
>> There we saw Ironman. Actually he was fake.
He just wore an ironman costume to take a picture with kids who visited Time square. My son took a picture with him, after that I payed 10 dollars.
He just wore an ironman costume to take a picture with kids who visited Time square. My son took a picture with him, after that I payed 10 dollars.
>> Correct!
Or: Ironman; Time Square; paid
He forced me $10 more just for one cellphone picture.
>> He forced me to pay $10 more for just one cellphone picture.
At that moment, I felt little scary and deeply disappointed. Also dirty roads and dark alleys inside the city.
>> At that moment, I felt a little scared and deeply disappointed. Also, there are dirty roads and dark alleys inside the city.
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