Hello

2013-09-11 · 첨삭 강사 Kathrine

학생이 쓴 원문

Hi! Angel! It's raining today from yesterday. This week is very busy because the nexk week we are holiday. A few day ago, I read some book. The writer said that you want to come true your goal and then you must to do spend three hours in a day for ten years. It looks easy, But It means that you have to spend preparing another time excpet three hours. I felt I really want to speak English fluently. I decided to think my goal more than before. Anyway, If I became a president I cut down work envrionment and reduce house rental fee. Because now I work 8 hours 5day in a week but it is very lots of time in a day. I think 6 hours is the perfect environment. And then people can be take care of thier family. Last my plan is to reduce house rental fee. We paid alot. So many people want to live a large size house but we will pay alot og money eventhough small one. That's my oppinion. Have a nice day and see you soon!!

강사 첨삭

Hi there! 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.

Becoming a president has a whole lot of responsibilities. 
I think that whatever you are going to do when you will be the president, I know that you  are responsible for it. haha.

Anyway, take care of yourself because it\'s raining. ^^

I\'ll see you later! 

T. Angel ^^

Hi! Angel!

>> Hi Angel! 

It\'s raining today from yesterday.

>> It\'s still raining from yesterday until today. 

This week is very busy because the nexk week we are holiday.

>> This week is very busy because next week will be a holiday. 

A few day ago, I read some book.

>> I read some books a few days ago. 

The writer said that you want to come true your goal and then you must to do spend three hours in a day for ten years.

>>  The writer said that if you want your goal to come true, you need to spend three hours in a day for ten years. 

It looks easy, But It means that you have to spend preparing another time excpet three hours.

>> It looks like it\'s easy but it also means that you have to spend some time except for three hours. 

I felt I really want to speak English fluently.

>>  I feel like I really I want to speak English fluently. 

I decided to think my goal more than before.
>>   I have to think of my goal many times before deciding. 

Anyway, If I became a president I cut down work envrionment and reduce house rental fee.

>> Anyway, if I will become the president, I will cut down the work environment and I will also reduce the rental fees. 

Because now I work 8 hours 5day in a week but it is very lots of time in a day.

>>  Because I am now working for 8 hours in a day but I think it is a lot for a day. 

I think 6 hours is the perfect environment.

>> correct!

And then people can be take care of thier family.

>> And then people can take care of their family. 

Last my plan is to reduce house rental fee.

>>correct!

We paid alot.

>> We pay a lot. 

So many people want to live a large size house but we will pay alot og money eventhough small one.

>> So many people want to live in a big house but we have to still pay a lot of money even though our house is small. 

That\'s my oppinion.
>> That\'s my opinion. 

Have a nice day and see you soon!!

>> correct!^^

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·