Hello

2014-10-01 · 첨삭 강사 Naomi

학생이 쓴 원문

Today, I'd like to write about dream. How many people who dream come ture are there in the world? To be honest, it's very difficult to figure out this question beacuse it depends on the person to have a different value of dream. I mean that some people have a small dream, some people have a big dream. And number of dreams are different, too. Some people have a lof of dream otherwise some people don't have any dream. How about me? I have a dream. It's living with my family in happyness. But It's just not an easy dream. Also I need enough money, I need a good job but I shouldn't have any problem. However you know, how can we have any problem? When you are living, you can get some problem in accident. Sometimes, you don't do anything, but you just get a lot of problems. What a great!. This is the world where we live. So What is my point? Just Enjoy my life. Don't compare your life with other people. I'm sure God always leads you to right way. I believe it. Bye~

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]!^^

 

You are curious thinker. ^^

Choose the people who you are to be with. Talk to different kinds of people a lot. You will learn a lot from them even actually from a beggar.

 

See you.

-T.Naomi

 

Today, I\'d like to write about dream.

>>correct
How many people who dream come ture are there in the world?
>>How many people who dream come true are there in the world?
To be honest, it\'s very difficult to figure out this question beacuse it depends on the person to have a different value of dream.

>>To be honest, it\'s very difficult to figure out this question because it depends on the person who have different value of their dream.
I mean that some people have a small dream, some people have a big dream. And number of dreams are different, too.

>>I mean that some people have small dream, some people have big dream. And number of dreams are different, too.
Some people have a lof of dream otherwise some people don\'t have any dream.

>>Some people have a lof of dreams otherwise some people don\'t have any dream.
How about me? I have a dream. It\'s living with my family in happiness. But It\'s just not an easy dream.

>>correct

Also I need enough money, I need a good job but I shouldn\'t have any problem. However you know, how can we have any problem?

>>correct
 When you are living, you can get some problem in accident. Sometimes, you don\'t do anything, but you just get a lot of problems.

>> When you are living, you can get some problems in instant. Sometimes, even you don\'t do anything, but you just get a lot of problems.
What a great!. This is the world where we live. So What is my point? Just Enjoy my life. Don\'t compare your life with other people.

>>What a great big world! This is the world where we live. So what is my point? Just enjoy my life. Don\'t compare your life with other people.
I\'m sure God always leads you to right way. I believe it.

>>I\'m sure God always leads you to the right way. I believe it.
Bye~

>>correct

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