Hello

2015-07-15 · 첨삭 강사 Roxy

학생이 쓴 원문

I will talk about skill grown of facebook. Facebook has introduced a feature that allows users to prioritize what they see on their news feed. Actually I really don't like to update my feeling or situaion on facebook. Becuase I don't want to focuse on how many i got "likes" or "comments" during all the day. It interrupts to be consentrated on my daily life. So I only use the facebook whenever I am bored or I don't have anything to spend my time as seeing funny small video or friends's news feed only which I want to see. If the feature that allows us to prioritize what we see on our news feed. Especially It is very helpful to see what i want to see and to skip what I don't want to see. Often, friends on facebook is not my best friends. So sometimes I wouln't like to see their news feed. So te featre is very helpful and useful for me.

강사 첨삭

Hello Soo!!!

That was fast!!!


Facebook is really a very popular social media, there are instances wherein people leave their accounts all day so that they will see feeds immediately.

I seldom open my account I often check it for new updates from people I know and then I log out immediately.

I am glad that you can express your opinion about almost anything.

Anyways, the corrections are below for you to see.

Till next time.

Teacher Roxy

xoxoxo

I will talk about skill grown of facebook.

>> I will talk about a skill in Facebook. 

Facebook has introduced a feature that allows users to prioritize what they see on their news feed.

>> Facebook has introduced a feature that allows users to prioritize what they see in their news feeds

Actually I really don\'t like to update my feeling or situaion on facebook. Becuase I don\'t want to focuse on how many i got \"likes\" or \"comments\" during all the day.

>> I really do not like to update my feeling or situation on Facebook because I don\'t want to focus on how many \"likes\" or comments I got for the whole day. 

It interrupts to be consentrated on my daily life. So I only use the facebook whenever I am bored or I don\'t have anything to spend my time as seeing funny small video or friends\'s news feed only which I want to see. 

>> It interrupts my concentration so I only use it whenever I am bored or I don\'t have anything to do. I only watch funny videos and read my friend\'s news feed.

Often, friends on facebook is not my best friends. So sometimes I wouln\'t like to see their news feed.

>> Some of my friends in Facebook are really not my best friends so I don\'t want to see their feeds.

If the feature that allows us to prioritize what we see on our news feed. Especially It is very helpful to see what i want to see and to skip what I don\'t want to see.

>> This feature is really helpful because it allows you to screen news feeds you don\'t want to see.  

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·