Hello!!!

2019-07-26 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

Hi teacher sharon~! This is my mother's speech! We need your help.^^ I always thank you! Well... start! ------------------------ Hi! My name is [이름] Hee Kim! and I'm from korea! Nice to see all of you! I never imagined that I would meet you here in Malaysia and here today. It's like a dream. I have another miraculous meet. It's a meeting with Jesus. When I was living in darkness and sorrow, one day Jesus came to me and changed my life into light and joy. When I was bound by sin by meeting Jesus, I was free from sin and he gave me eternal heaven as a gift. I am happy because of Jesus now. Before meeting jesus , I was lonely. However , I'm not lonely now, because Jesus always with me. I am happy every day because of Jesus' love for me. Even in times of trouble, Jesus gives me strength, and I can overcome it. I pray that there will be a miracle in your life that meets Jesus. I pray that I live a happy and joyous life every day by meeting Jesus.

강사 첨삭

Hi Willy!
I hope these corrections help.
I really wish that you and your family will be successful in your speeches.
Good luck!
~~ Teacher Sharon
Hi! My name is [이름] Hee Kim! and I\'m from korea!
>> Hi! My name is [이름] Hee Kim and I\'m from Korea!
Nice to see all of you!
>> Correct
I never imagined that I would meet you here in Malaysia and here today.
>> I have never imagined that I would meet all of you here in Malaysia today.
It\'s like a dream.
>> I feel like I\'m in a dream.
I have another miraculous meet.
>> There was another miraculous event for me.
It\'s a meeting with Jesus.
>> That was the time when I met Jesus.
When I was living in darkness and sorrow, one day Jesus came to me and changed my life into light and joy.
>> When I was living in darkness and sorrow, Jesus came to me one day and changed my life into light and joy.
When I was bound by sin by meeting Jesus, I was free from sin and he gave me eternal heaven as a gift.
>> When I was bound by sin, I met Him and by meeting Jesus, I was free from sin and he gave me eternal heaven as a gift.
I am happy because of Jesus now.
>> I am happy now because of Jesus.
Before meeting jesus , I was lonely. 
>> Before meeting Jesus , I was lonely. 
However , I\'m not lonely now, because Jesus always with me.
>> However , I\'m not lonely now, because Jesus is always with me.
I am happy every day because of Jesus\' love for me.
>> Correct
Even in times of trouble, Jesus gives me strength, and I can overcome it.
>> Even in times of trouble, Jesus gives me strength, and I know I can overcome anything.
I pray that there will be a miracle in your life that meets Jesus.
>> I pray that there will be a miracle in your life by welcoming Jesus.
I pray that I live a happy and joyous life every day by meeting Jesus.c
>> I pray that I live a happy and joyous life every day under Jesus\' grace. 

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