hello teacher~^^

2014-07-14 · 첨삭 강사 Kelly

학생이 쓴 원문

in this chart, our sales performance is 136% in 1st half year against to business plan and in 2nd half year our sales performance is 136% Compar to last year our sales increased 36% in 1st half year and 35% increased in 2nd half year Overall our sales performance is 128% against business plan and 35% is increase compare to last year. Let's look at the sales volume performance by product group. This chart is about RA and Pre assy sales volume. This graph show you long term sales volume until 2017year

강사 첨삭

Good evening Miss [이름]!!!

Thank you for dropping by at the composition board. I checked your essay. If you have questions, feel free to ask me. Have a great evening!

~KeLLy~

in this chart, our sales performance is 136% in 1st  half year against to business plan and in 2nd half year our sales performance is 136%

>> Did you mean: In this chart, it shows our sales performance versus the business plan for the first half of the year which is 136 %. Also in the second half of the year, we reached the sales performance of 136 %.
Compar to last year our sales increased 36% in 1st half year and 35% increased in 2nd half year

>> Compared to last year, our sales increased by 36 % in the first half of the year and 35 % in the second half of the year.
Overall our sales performance is 128% against business plan and 35% is increase compare to last year.

>> Overall, our sales performance is 128% and there was a 35% increase compared to last year.
Let\'s look at the sales volume performance by product group.

>> Correct.
This chart is about RA and Pre assy sales volume.
>> Correct.

This graph show you long term sales volume until 2017year

>>This graph shows the long term sales volume until year 2017.


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