Hello teacher Carmen!! <3

This is abstract part of my report. According to the activated for the service which use the personal information, database trading market, where DB can be sold and bought, has become increasingly larger. The legitimate DB trade that hid the information that can identify an individual has grown, even illegal DB trading market is also growing rapidly. On the other hand, in the current law, it is allowed to stand for 2 and 3 round of damage is caused by DB trade, because the law of the DB trading market is not defined. Therefore, this paper proposed the five bills to reduce the illegal trade of the DB, so that to reduce the 2 and 3 round of damage. And I changed my title : A Proposal For The Regulated Bill Regarding The Domestic Database Trading Market And can you check the grammar of the picture below? 1. Scale of the Database Industry Market 2. Routes of the Personal Information illegal releaseed, marketed 3. Process Obligation Follow the Enforcement Doctrine of FEDMA Thank you!

Hi there [이름]!   I really tried my best to check this. If there are any alterations or misunderstanding just tell it to me tomorrow. So we can correct it, okay? ^^ Thank you and good night!! :) Love you!! ^^   Teacher Carmen ^^   This is abstract part of my report.>> This is the abstract of my report.According to the activated for the service which use the personal information, database trading market, where DB can be sold and bought, has become increasingly larger. >> According to the information that was taken from the database trading market, the number of DB that were sold or bought increased in a large number. The legitimate DB trade that hid the information that can identify an individual has grown, even illegal DB trading market is also growing rapidly. >> The legitimate DB trade that hid some information that can identify if an individual has increased in number however the illegal DB trading market also increased rapidly. On the other hand, in the current law, it is allowed to stand for 2 and 3 round of damage is caused by DB trade, because the law of the DB trading market is not defined. >> On the other hand, it is allowed to have 2 and 3 rounds of errors which is caused by the DB trade because the current law of the DB trading market is not yet defined. Therefore, this paper proposed the five bills to reduce the illegal trade of the DB, so that to reduce the 2 and 3 round of damage.>> Therefore, this proposed 5 bills to eliminate the illegal trade of the DB and reduce the damages.And I changed my title : A Proposal For The Regulated Bill Regarding The Domestic Database Trading Market>> I changed the title. A Proposal For The Regulated Bill Regarding The Domestic Database Trading MarketAnd can you check the grammar of the picture below? >> Can you also heck the grammar of the following sentences?1. Scale of the Database Industry Market >> Correct!2. Routes of the Personal Information illegal releaseed, marketed >> Routes where the Personal information was illegally released and marketed3. Process Obligation Follow the Enforcement Doctrine of FEDMA>> Rules about the process and obligation on the Enforcement Doctrine of FEDMAThank you! >> Correct!