HI....

2021-03-23 · 첨삭 강사 Jean

학생이 쓴 원문

hi,

강사 첨삭

Here\'s your corrected composition, Jessica!

Cheers,
Jean~~




                   Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people refer doing
s[이름]olwork or jobs that are easy to challenging ones. Use specific reasons and
examples to support your opinion.


It is dabatable whether people can benefit more from doing s[이름]olwork or jobs
that are easy to challenging ones than doing difficult things in s[이름]olwork or jobs.
>> It is debatable whether people can benefit more from doing s[이름]olwork or jobs
that are easy than doing difficult ones. 

This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be
different depending on people’s perspectives. 
>> correct

In my opinion, however, I support that doing s[이름]olwork that are difficult ones than doing s[이름]olwork or jobs that are easy to challenging ones for the following reasons.
>> In my opinion, however, I support the argument that doing challenging s[이름]olwork or jobs is more beneficial for the following reasons.

This is because first, people can learn more about that fields, and they can think
more and more. 
>> First, people can learn more about that field, and they can think
more and more. 

To be specific, designing new things, and utilizing the knowledge
in s[이름]ol or company make very useful things and improve their abilities.
>> To be specific, designing new things, and utilizing the knowledge
in s[이름]ol or company to make very useful things and improve their abilities.

For example, computer programing s[이름]ol teacher who is related to c++program
can teach more if someone make two of them and combine a variaty of program
things. 
>> For example, a computer programing s[이름]ol teacher who is related to c++program can teach more if someone makes two of them and combine a variety of programs or things. 

It is differ from students which prepare a lot of things or a few things if
some students have same opportunity.
>> It is different from students who prepare a lot of things or a few things if
some students have the same opportunity.

 It will be become lots of ability gap, while learning something.
>> The result will be the large ability while learning something. 

Second reason is that people can be credited for that works more than easier
things. 
>> Second, people can be credited for doing challenging works. 

If someone make some game just use one program, it is very easy to make
and everyone can do. 
>> Creating a game or program can be quite easily done by almost everyone. 

If someone who make game combine lots of things and
apply many of things, someone can achieve recognition who use that game or that
field’s teacher or others.
>> However, a person someone can achieve recognition by making a game and combining lots of things, and applying many things.

All things considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has
been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. 
>> correct

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