Hi^^

2014-02-20 · 첨삭 강사 camille

학생이 쓴 원문

Yes, I agree that obesity is a disease. For example, most of adult illness comes from obesity. Especially, I think the important problem of obesity is a life style pattern and laziness. Fat people's lazy life gives them prejudice. So, fat people try to break that prejudice, or they have to lose their weight.

강사 첨삭

Hello there my dear [이름]!^.^
How\'s your day so far baby?
Thank you for doing your homework.^.^
Please check the corrections I made and if you have questions, feel free to ask me in our class.
Have a great day and I will see you in class.
xoxoTeacher Camille~~
Yes, I agree that obesity is a disease.
>>Correct.
For example, most of adult illness comes from obesity.
>>For example, most of the adult illnesses come from obesity.
Especially, I think the important problem of obesity is a life style pattern and laziness.
>>I think, especially, the most important problem of obesity is the life style pattern and laziness.
Fat people\'s lazy life gives them prejudice.
>>Correct.
So, fat people try to break that prejudice, or they have to lose their weight.
>>Correct.
OR:So fat people try to get rid of this prejudice by losing weight.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기