Hi! Ally.

2019-10-09 · 첨삭 강사 Ally

학생이 쓴 원문

In some countries having children is considered a way of \"investing in the future\", and young people are expected to give money to their parents when they get a job, and then to care for them when they retire. What are the good points and what are the bad points about this system? It has been a good tradition and a duty to give pocket money to parents when young people get a job and to take care of them when their parents retire. Having a lot of children in our country was considered some insurance for the future, but now it is rare for their children to care for retired parents. So now, the whole nation is in the pension in Korea, and the type of pension is various, but the pension is a good system to guarantee retirement. Perhaps the pension system is becoming more common in developed countries and the gap in quantity is severe. So, I think that our young people should join pension early and invest a lot in preparation for retirement.

강사 첨삭

Hi there, Son!

I agree with your composition.

Although, it is quite sad that children are no longer taking care of their parents upon retirement. :(

Thank you for sharing this. ^^

~t. Ally

--------------------------

It has been a good tradition and a duty to give pocket money to parents when young people get a job and to take care of them when their parents retire.

>> CORRECT!

Having a lot of children in our country was considered some insurance for the future, but now it is rare for their children to care for retired parents.

>> Having a lot of children in our country was considered as an insurance for the future, but now it is rare for children to care for retired parents.

So now, the whole nation is in the pension in Korea, and the type of pension is various, but the pension is a good system to guarantee retirement.

>> So now, the whole nation of Korea has pension, and the type of pension is various, but the pension is a good system to guarantee a good retirement.

Perhaps the pension system is becoming more common in developed countries and the gap in quantity is severe.

>> CORRECT!

So, I think that our young people should join pension early and invest a lot in preparation for retirement.

>> CORRECT!

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기