Hi, Elisha!

Happy day, Seung Ho!

Thank you for sending me your composition. Yesterday, I was telling you that while I was listening to an audio book the previous night, I was reminded of my advice for you. ^^

I\'m happy to hear that it was easy for you to use the words that I\'ve given you the last time. For this next week, please try to use the following: captivate and confidant ; to get on like a house on fire. Have a happy weekend and merry Christmas! ^^~

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 In my forties, I had a big plan for my future.

>> correct!

or:

>> When I was in my forties, I had a big plan for my future.

I wanted my business to prosper so that I would get wealthy and honor.

>> correct!

or:

>> I wanted my business to prosper so that I would be wealthy and respected. 

While I am alive, I believed that if I get wealthy and honor, I will be happy.

>>  correct!

 So I worked exhaustively day and night.

>>  correct!

 Whenever I failed, I was so much frustrated and depressed.

>> correct!

or:

>> Whenever I failed, I felt very frustrated and depressed.

Whenever I succeeded, I was so much delightful and I thought that I was a great business man.

>>  correct!

I encouraged myself.

>>  correct!

I treated others with confidence.

>>  correct!

At that time, others might have felt that I am conceited.
>>  correct!
Nowadays, I contemplated my future.

>> Nowadays, I contemplate about my future.

- \'Nowadays\' is considered to be present, so the verb that appears after it should also be in it\'s present form.

I realized that health is the most important for my life.

>> I realized that health is the most important thing in my life.

- We say \'in my life\',

 I used to heard that \'if you lose your health, you will lose everything.\'

>> I used to hear that if you lose your health, you will lose everything.

- I think I mentioned this to you before. but used to is always followed by a present verb. ^^

But I didn\'t seriously think it in my heart.

>> But, I didn\'t take it seriously by heart.

Now, I am over 50 years old, I know how important health is.

>>  correct!

So my first hope is to live a healthy life as long as I live.
>> correct!

or: 

>> So my first hope is to live a healthy life for as long as I live.
 My second hope is to live in little happiness with my family for a long time.

>>  correct!

Last Saturday, I ate out in the evening with my family.

>> correct!

or:

>> Last Saturday, I ate out with my family in the evening.  

Before the dinner, I prayed like this. \'God! may my family be happy and let my family get some money to eat tasty food in the simple restaurant and always give us smile and laughter.\'

>> Before the dinner, I prayed, \'God! May my family be happy and have some money to eat tasty food in the simple restaurant and always give us smile and laughter.\'

After my prayer, my wife complemented me, she said that your prayer is so humble and genuine that God will accept it. 

>> correct!

or:

>> After my prayer, my wife complemented me, she said, \"Your prayer is so humble and genuine that God will accept it.\"

or:

>> After my prayer, my wife complemented me, she said that my prayer was so humble and genuine that God will accept it. 
My third hope is that is to be a humble man to God and to others.

>>  correct!

 Until recently, I might be conceited and prideful.

>>  correct!

And I thought I can make a big sucess if I try.

>>  correct!

But now I aware that even though I try so much hard, I can\'t make the result myself.

>> correct!

or:

>> But now I aware that even though I try very hard, I can\'t make the result myself.  

Only God make me successful or failed.

>>  Only God can make me a successful  man or a failure.

So I will just try myself diligently and pray believing in God to achieve.

>>  correct!

So I want to be a humble person to God and others.
>> So I want to be a humble person to God and  to others.

- Since you said \'to God\' and used \'and\', you should say \'to others\' as well.
 Lastly I actually want to escape from my job because while I worked, I got stressed so much.

>>  correct!

But it is not yet the time to call it a day.

>>  correct!

I have to work more for my happy old age.

>>  correct!

When I will have finished, I want to live with my grandsons and granddaughters and travel to many foreign countries with my wife.

>>  correct!