Hi, Elly! I need to edit it.
학생이 쓴 원문
I just started majoring in Marriage and Family Therapy at Daybreak University. One of my goals is that after graduating from this University, I would like to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. The reason why I would like to be a therapist is to heal and transform myself, my family, and the people around me. As an ordained pastor in Korean Methodist Church, I yearn to let people know God’s love through my profession. My husband is a pastor at Henderson UMC. I usually visit with him when he does pastoral visitations and care. What I have learned so far is that if pastors or their spouses have a professional license in counseling or therapy that would be great for effective ministry. If I got the chance to help people who have to suffer from marriage and family issues, I want to be the one who can help and support them. Above all else, as a person, mom, and pastor’s wife, I expect growth in my innermost self through studying at Daybreak University.
강사 첨삭
Hi Pastor,
I hope the editing was to your satisfaction.
May GOD open the doors for you.
GOD bless and take care.
T.Elly.
Hi, Elly! I need to edit it.CORRECT!
or>>I have to edit this.
I just started majoring in Marriage and Family Therapy at Daybreak University.
>>I just started studying at Daybreak University, majoring in Marriage and Family Therapy.
One of my goals is that after graduating from this University, I would like to be a Marriage and Family Therapist.
CORRECT!
or>>One of my goals is to be a Marriage and Family Therapist after graduating from the University,.
The reason why I would like to be a therapist is to heal and transform myself, my family, and the people around me.
CORRECT!
or>>I would like to be a therapist because I need some healing and transformation myself, including my family, and the people around me.
As an ordained pastor in the Korean Methodist Church, I yearn to let people know about God’s love through my profession.
CORRECT!
or>>As an ordained pastor in a Korean Methodist Church, I yearn to show the people and let them know about God’s love through my profession.
My husband is a pastor at Henderson UMC.
CORRECT!
or>>My husband works as a pastor at Henderson UMC.
I usually visit with him when he does pastoral visitations and care.
>>I usually go with him when he does pastoral visitations and care.
What I have learned so far is that if pastors or their spouses have a professional license in counseling or therapy that would be great for effective ministry.
>>What I have learned so far is that if pastors or their spouses have a professional license in counseling or therapy, it would help them greatly in having an effective ministry.
If I got the chance to help people who have to suffer from marriage and family issues, I want to be the one who can help and support them.
>>If I got the chance to help people who are suffering from marriage and family issues, I want to be the one who can help and support them.
Above all else, as a person, mom, and pastor’s wife, I expect growth in my innermost self through studying at Daybreak University.
>>Above all else, as a person, a mom, and a pastor’s wife, I expect growth in my innermost self through studying at Daybreak University.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.