hi fey
학생이 쓴 원문
I did several activates while I was in the Philippines and Australia. When I was in the Philippines, I visited orphanage and did volunteer work. When I visited first time, I was surprised for some girls who welcomed me were pregnant. And I was more surprised to hear that the men who had gotten the girls pregnant and left away were Korean. So I decided to give girls in the orphanage pleasure. I taught some Korean traditional games such as 윷놀이, 땅 따먹기 and we enjoyed them together. Although we had been awkward each other, we became close to each other soon. And they were used to calling me a nice guy. First, I felt pity for them, because of their poor surrounding. But it was wrong. They had their own happiness. I had been happy for I could make them happy.
강사 첨삭
I did several activates while I was in the Philippines and Australia.
>>> I did several activities while I was in the Philippines and Australia.
When I was in the Philippines, I visited orphanage and did volunteer work.
>>> When I was in the Philippines, I visited an orphanage and did volunteer work.
When I visited first time, I was surprised for some girls who welcomed me were pregnant.
>>> During my first visit, I was surprised for some girls who welcomed me were pregnant.
And I was more surprised to hear that the men who had gotten the girls pregnant and left away were Korean.
>>> And I was more surprised to hear that the men who got them pregnant and left them were Koreans.
So I decided to give girls in the orphanage pleasure.
>>> So I decided to give the girls in the orphanage pleasure.
I taught some Korean traditional games such as 윷놀이, 땅 따먹기 and we enjoyed them together.
>>> Correct
Although we had been awkward each other, we became close to each other soon.
>>> Although we felt awkward towards each other, we became close immediately.
And they were used to calling me a nice guy.
>>> Correct
First, I felt pity for them, because of their poor surrounding.
>>> First, I felt pity for them, because of their poor surroundings.
But it was wrong.
>>> But I was wrong.
They had their own happiness.
>>> Correct
I had been happy for I could make them happy.
>>> I was happy because I made them feel happy.
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