Hi Jenny
학생이 쓴 원문
i wanna write about today. i met my friends and we went to shopping.
we walked really alot. i think that i am not that healthy. i mean, i am healthy but my physical strength is very totally weak. actually when i go shopping with my friends they treat me like a baby. i dont like the place where narrow is and many people are. i whine and complain in those place and my heart starts hammering. i doubt maybe i have panic disorder and claustrophobia. i love shopping but those things disturb me seriously. or maybe i aint grown up enough yet :(
or i just have no patience.
강사 첨삭
[이름],
Thanks for the compo... Keep it up! ^^
Jenny
i wanna write about today.
>>I want to write something today
>>>you donn't use "wanna" in writing sentences since it is an English slang although, you can use this when talking to a person.
i met my friends and we went to shopping.
>>I met my friends and we went shopping
>>>remember; always start your sentences with a capital letter.we walked really alot.
>>We walked for so long.
i think that i am not that healthy.
>>I think that I am not that healthy.
i mean, i am healthy but my physical strength is very totally weak.
>>I think that I am not that physically fit for walking.
actually when i go shopping with my friends they treat me like a baby.
>>Actually, when I go shopping with my friends they always treat me like a baby.
i dont like the place where narrow is and many people are.
>>I don't like places which are too narrow and very crowded.
i whine and complain in those place and my heart starts hammering.
>>I always whine because when I am in those places my heart starts pounding.
i doubt maybe i have panic disorder and claustrophobia.
>>I think that maybe I have a panic disorder and a little claustrophobic
>>>CLAUSTROPHOBIA- sickness; CLAUSTROPHOBIC - feeling
i love shopping but those things disturb me seriously.
>>I love shopping but those things are too disturbing for me.
or maybe i aint grown up enough yet :(
>>Maybe at some point I'm not that matured.or i just have no patience.
>>or sometimes I am just impatient.
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