Hi Teacher~
학생이 쓴 원문
What area of social work does your goverment need to spend more money on?
Our country is already elderly society from 2020. It is because the birth rate drop and the industrialization. Accually, we can see many senior citizen who lives alone around. So I think that our goverment have to make more the seniors welfare centers and the elderly care facility that have good service. And they have to hire more social welfare workers. The industrial for seniors will get develop.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
Wow! You are on a roll today! You did so much homework today, but thank you for diligently doing all of them. I think it is important to care for the elderly people, so the government should pay more attention to them.
-Rachel
What area of social work does your government need to spend more money on?
>> correct
Our country is already elderly society from 2020.
Our country is already elderly society from 2020.
>> Our country is starting to have more elderly population from 2020.
It is because the birth rate drop and the industrialization.
>> It is because of the drop in birth rate and industrialization.
Actually, we can see many senior citizen who lives alone around.
>> Actually, we can see many senior citizens living alone.
So I think that our goverment have to make more the seniors welfare centers and the elderly care facility that have good service.
>> So I think our government has to create more centers for the welfare for the senior citizen and elderly care facilities that provide good services.
And they have to hire more social welfare workers.
>> correct
The industrial for seniors will get develop.
>> If these situations are satisfied, the sector for the elderly people will develop.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.