hihi!

2018-05-28 · 첨삭 강사 Rosie

학생이 쓴 원문

*Why we should hire you? I’m strong enough to keep my passengers in an emergency situation or unexpected situation as I’ve been learning Korean martial arts. It’s kind of art of self defense. I’ve been learning how to protect myself from dangerous situations and how to be more healthy person. I believe keeping safety is most important duty to work well as a cabin crew. So my physical strength would help me to take my responsibilty well. *When do you get stress? I don't get stress easily but I got stress when I broke my rule. I feel comfortable when I keep rules that I made or required me to keep. One of my rule is ‘Don’t drunk’ But it was when one of my friend’s birthday, I was attempting to get into the spirit of things. So I over-drank and blacked out. But the next day, I regret so much and feel in deep remorse that I couldn't keep my rule. So ever since that day, I try to enjoy and act my life within the rule I made.

강사 첨삭

Hello, Sujin!

I\'d be glad to help.  ^^

I hope to see you soon ^^


*Why we should hire you?

>> Why should we hire you?
 

I’m strong enough to keep my passengers in an emergency situation or unexpected situation as I’ve been learning Korean martial arts. 

>> I’m strong enough to keep my passengers calm especially during an emergency situation or unexpected situation as I’ve been learning Korean martial arts. 


It’s kind of art of self defense.
>> It’s a kind of art on self defense.


I’ve been learning how to protect myself from dangerous situations and how to be more healthy person.
>> I’ve been learning how to protect myself from dangerous situations and how to be a much healthier person.


I believe keeping safety is most important duty to work well as a cabin crew. So my physical strength would help me to take my responsibilty well.
>> I believe that keeping my safety is the most important duty to work well as a cabin crew.


So my physical strength would help me to take my responsibilty well.
>> So, my physical strength would help me take my responsibilty well.


*When do you get stress? 
>> When do you get stressed? 


I don\'t get stress easily but I got stress when I broke my rule. 

>> I don\'t get stressed easily but I get stressed when I break my rules. 


I feel comfortable when I keep rules that I made or required me to keep. 

>> I feel comfortable when I keep rules that I made or required for me to keep. 


One of my rule is ‘Don’t drunk’
But it was when one of my friend’s birthday, I was attempting to get into the spirit of things.

So I over-drank and blacked out.

>> One of my rules is ‘Don’t get drunk’ but during one of my friend’s birthday, I just wanted to feel wild so I overdrank.


But the next day, I regret so much and feel in deep remorse that I couldn\'t keep my rule.
>> The next day, I regret doing it and for that I couldn\'t keep my rule.

>> OR: The next day, I felt deep remorse because I couldn\'t keep my rule.


So ever since that day, I try to enjoy and act my life within the rule I made.

>> Ever since that day, I try to enjoy and act my life within the rule I made.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

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