Hobby, What made you choose your university?
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello there! Thank you for taking time in making your composition. I enjoyed reading it.
Below are the corrections I made for you. Should you have questions about your composition, you can always ask them in class. Have a nice day! ^_^
- Teacher Rowena -
Hobby
My hobby is singing a song.
>>Correct. OR>>My hobby is singing.
I like music, from childhood.
>>I have liked music since childhood.
Especially, when I got stressed, I usually go karaoke.
>>I usually go to the karaoke especially when I get stressed.
In karaoke, I use my all power in my song.
>>In the karaoke, I can use all my power when I sing.
After that I manage to my stress.
>>After that, my stress is gone.
What made you choose your university?
I chose my university because of two thing.
>>I chose my university for two reasons.
First, my university is famous of engineering in Korea.
>>First, my university is famous for its engineering major in Korea.
Second, in Korea my major is rare.
>>Correct.
So, I chose my university because I learn my major.
>>So I chose my university because of my major.
My major is Industrial engineering.
>>Correct.
I chose my major because of Taylor.
>>Correct.
He thought incentive system.
>>He thought of the incentive system.
But, his system think worker like robot.
>>But his system treats workers like robots.
So, I make Incentive system plus sensitive system.
>>So I will make an incentive system plus sensitive system.
And my major combined with management and engineering.
>>And my major is a combination of management and engineering.
Therefore, I can apply for every industry.
>>Therefore, I can apply to any industry.
Because of these things, I chose my university and my major.
>>Correct.
Please check my sentences.
>>Correct.
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