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2013-07-30 · 첨삭 강사 Maria

학생이 쓴 원문

I will mention my memorable experience related music rather than my best experience about music. When I was a 21 years old, before I enlisted in Korea army, I hade made a girl friend. Unlike armies of other countries, the military service is essential for man in Korea and there are a lot of restrictions at their military life. For example, regular holidays are really infrequent and early enlisted soilders cann't use phone. The only way I was able to meet my girl freind is to watch her picture before sleeping. One day, after finishing fire trainning, while we were resting for a moment, a music flowed from somewhere. The title of the song is "between friendship and love" and it's meaning is a suggestion of the breakup between lovers. When I heard the song, I anticipated our separation. After all, as I expected, I separated from her for my first holidays. However, for a long time, whenever I hear the song from somewhere, I used to recall my first love.

강사 첨삭

Hi there^^      Oh wow... What a very good composition you made today. I think everyone would always remember their first love but do you believe in the saying \" First Love Never Dies?\" That\'s just a thought for you to think about^^ See you in class!  ~T.Lorraine~   I will mention my memorable experience related music rather than my best experience about music. >> Correct When I was a 21 years old, before I enlisted in Korea army, I hade made a girl friend. >> Correct                     >> before I enlisted in the Korean Army, I had a girl friend.Unlike armies of other countries, the military service is essential for man in Korea and there are a lot of restrictions at their military life. >> Unlike other armies of other countries, the military service is essential for a man in Korea but there are a lot of restricitions with regards to their military life.   For example, regular holidays are really infrequent and early enlisted soilders cann\'t use phone. >> Correct                                                                                           >>soldiers can\'t use the phone. The only way I was able to meet my girl freind is to watch her picture before sleeping. >> Correct                                            >>friendOne day, after finishing fire trainning, while we were resting for a moment, a music flowed from somewhere. >> Correct                                                                                           >> a music was played from somewhere. The title of the song is \"between friendship and love\" and it\'s meaning is a suggestion of the breakup between lovers. >> Correct When I heard the song, I anticipated our separation. >> Correct After all, as I expected, I separated from her for my first holidays.>> Correct                                                  >>on my first holiday.However, for a long time, whenever I hear the song from somewhere, I used to recall my first love. >> Correct  

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