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2014-07-30 · 첨삭 강사 Kathrine

학생이 쓴 원문

Certainly, I play many roles in many groups, not only family, but also social community. In my opinion, upto responsibility, I play my role, differently. Firstly, I simply play my role in my social community, as like University union, or church group. I have less responsibility, there is no need to be desperate. And, I joined to this kind of group for my interesting & hobby. When I feel less interest, easily, I can leave. Also, I can stop my role in the social group, as a party. Secondly, there is no second chance in my work & my company. Because it is a business, my word can effect to my company's revenue (benefit), directly. So, my role should be very prudent. Because my tiny mistake can bring a big loss. So, I should pay attention more, make a right decision, and give an answer after deep consideration. Although, I feel a big responsibility, but, I can resign whenever I want. So, it can not be my everything.

강사 첨삭

Hello again Mr. [이름]!

Well, we do have different roles in different groups.
And it depends to us if we are responsible enough or not.

Anyway, I haven\'t fully read your composition yet this part is already comprehension enough.

Good job in that part.

Thanks for today.

Always,
Kathrine ^^

Certainly, I play many roles in many groups, not only family, but also social community.

>> I certainly play many roles in many groups, not only to family, but also to the social community.

In my opinion, upto responsibility, I play my role, differently.

>> correct!

>> or: In my opinion, when it comes to being responsible, I am playing my roles differently.
Firstly, I simply play my role in my social community, as like University union, or church group.

>> Firstly, I simply play my role in the social community, such as the university union, or church group.

I have less responsibility, there is no need to be desperate.

>> I have less responsibility so there is no need to be desperate.

And, I joined to this kind of group for my interesting & hobby.

>> And, I joined to this kind of group for my interest & hobby

When I feel less interest, easily, I can leave.

>> When I feel less interested, I can easily leave.

Also, I can stop my role in the social group, as a party.

>> correct!
Secondly, there is no second chance in my work & my company.

>> correct!

Because it is a business, my word can effect to my company\'s revenue (benefit), directly.

>> Because it is a business, my word can effect my company\'s revenue (benefit), directly.

So, my role should be very prudent.

>> correct!

Because my tiny mistake can bring a big loss.

>> Because of my tiny mistake, it could bring a big loss.

So, I should pay attention more, make a right decision, and give an answer after deep consideration.

>> So I should pay more attention, make a right decision, and give answers after a deep consideration.

Although, I feel a big responsibility, but, I can resign whenever I want.

>> correct!

So, it can not be my everything.

>> correct!

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