Home Work
학생이 쓴 원문
If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be and why?
Hello Jessie.
Suddenly, I think to how long am I work?
Untill university student, I didn't work.
Sometimes I had part-time job.
So For 24 years, my father offer something to eat, clothes, place to sleep, etc for me.
Well... Still I receive my father financial aid.
My sister, a brother- in-law, brother lives my parent house.
In the same age as I, my father got married.
And they were stand alone. It was surprised.
Maybe I have to work whatever to do until 70 years-old.
Well..My boyfriend has to study more and more. haha.
Anyway If I change the one thing, it is air pollution.
I consider that air pollution occur young and old people death.
Also industrialization made abnormal climate.
Honestly, Many country spend the money in recovery of damage.
So I want to emerge about the environment job.
When I grow old woman, I introduce for posterity a beautiful country and world.
강사 첨삭
Hello there [이름]!
Wow! You\'re thinking of a lot of things these days.
Well, you have to strive harder to be independent so you could also help your parents in the future. ^_^
You can do it!
See you tomorrow!
~T. Jessie~
If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be and why?Hello Jessie.
>> Correct!Suddenly, I think to how long am I work?
>> Suddenly, I thought about how long have I worked?Untill university student, I didn\'t work.
>> I didn\'t work until I was a univesity student.Sometimes I had part-time job.
>> Correct!So For 24 years, my father offer something to eat, clothes, place to sleep, etc for me.
>> So for 24 years, my father has been giving me something to eat, clothes, place to sleep, etc.Well... Still I receive my father financial aid.
>> Well, I still receive my father\'s financial aid.
OR>> Well, I still receive financial aid from my father.My sister, a brother- in-law, brother lives my parent house.>> My sister, brother- in-law and brother live in my parent\'s house.
In the same age as I, my father got married.
>> Correct!And they were stand alone.
>> And they were independent.
It was surprised.
>> It was surprising.
Maybe I have to work whatever to do until 70 years-old.
>> Maybe I have to work until I\'m 70 years-old. Well..My boyfriend has to study more and more. haha.>> Correct!Anyway If I change the one thing, it is air pollution.
>> Anyway if I can change one thing, it is air pollution.I consider that air pollution occur young and old people death.
>> I consider that air pollution causes young and old people\'s death. Also industrialization made abnormal climate.
>> Also, industrialization made the climate abnormal.Honestly, Many country spend the money in recovery of damage.
>> Honestly, many countries spend money to recover from the damage.So I want to emerge about the environment job.
>> So I want an environmental job to emerge.When I grow old woman, I introduce for posterity a beautiful country and world.
>> When I grow old, I will introduce to the posterity a beautiful country and world.
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