Home Work

2015-04-07 · 첨삭 강사 Jessie

학생이 쓴 원문

If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be and why? Hello Jessie. Suddenly, I think to how long am I work? Untill university student, I didn't work. Sometimes I had part-time job. So For 24 years, my father offer something to eat, clothes, place to sleep, etc for me. Well... Still I receive my father financial aid. My sister, a brother- in-law, brother lives my parent house. In the same age as I, my father got married. And they were stand alone. It was surprised. Maybe I have to work whatever to do until 70 years-old. Well..My boyfriend has to study more and more. haha. Anyway If I change the one thing, it is air pollution. I consider that air pollution occur young and old people death. Also industrialization made abnormal climate. Honestly, Many country spend the money in recovery of damage. So I want to emerge about the environment job. When I grow old woman, I introduce for posterity a beautiful country and world.

강사 첨삭

Hello there [이름]! Wow! You\'re thinking of a lot of things these days. Well, you have to strive harder to be independent so you could also help your parents in the future.  ^_^ You can do it! See you tomorrow! ~T. Jessie~ If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be and why?Hello Jessie. >> Correct!Suddenly, I think to how long am I work? >> Suddenly, I thought about how long have I worked?Untill university student, I didn\'t work. >> I didn\'t work until I was a univesity student.Sometimes I had part-time job. >> Correct!So For 24 years, my father offer something to eat, clothes, place to sleep, etc for me. >> So for 24 years, my father has been giving me something to eat, clothes, place to sleep, etc.Well... Still I receive my father financial aid. >> Well, I still receive my father\'s financial aid. OR>> Well, I still receive financial aid from my father.My sister, a brother- in-law, brother lives my parent house.>> My sister, brother- in-law and brother live in my parent\'s house. In the same age as I, my father got married. >> Correct!And they were stand alone. >> And they were independent. It was surprised. >> It was surprising. Maybe I have to work whatever to do until 70 years-old. >> Maybe I have to work until I\'m 70 years-old. Well..My boyfriend has to study more and more. haha.>> Correct!Anyway If I change the one thing, it is air pollution. >> Anyway if I can change one thing, it is air pollution.I consider that air pollution occur young and old people death. >> I consider that air pollution causes young and old people\'s death. Also industrialization made abnormal climate. >> Also, industrialization made the  climate abnormal.Honestly, Many country spend the money in recovery of damage. >> Honestly, many countries spend money to recover from the damage.So I want to emerge about the environment job. >> So I want an environmental job to emerge.When I grow old woman, I introduce for posterity a beautiful country and world. >> When I grow old, I will introduce to the posterity a beautiful country and world.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·