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2015-05-14 · 첨삭 강사 Jessie

학생이 쓴 원문

Hello Jessie. Today, I feel so gloomy. I want holiday. And my boyfriend quickly has a job. I hate to do work until 70-80 age. It is my real mind. hoo...haha. I think that the people are living longer have to enough food. A long time ago, People didn't know dietetics. These days many country suggest prefect diet for health. People easily buy the food for their body in everyday. And very important thing is medical technology develop. Tuberculosis is rate of death disease. But inventing vaccine is decreased rate of death.

강사 첨삭

Good morning [이름]! I really hope that you\'ll have a holiday and that your boyfriend will have a job. Anyway, thanks for sharing your ideas about this matter. We better enjoy this day! See you later! ~T. Jessie~ Hello Jessie. >> Correct!Today, I feel so gloomy. >> Correct!I want holiday. >> I want to have a holiday and for my boyfriend to have a job quickly. And my boyfriend quickly has a job. >> I want to have a holiday and for my boyfriend to have a job quicklyI hate to do work until 70-80 age. >> I hate to work until 70-80 years old.It is my real mind. hoo...haha. >> Do you mean: It\'s what I\'m thinking of.I think that the people are living longer have to enough food. >> I think that the people who are living longer have  enough food. A long time ago, People didn\'t know dietetics. >> A long time ago, people didn\'t know about dietetics.These days many country suggest prefect diet for health. >> These days, many countries suggest that people should have perfect diet for health.People easily buy the food for their body in everyday. >> People easily buy food for their body everyday. And very important thing is medical technology develop.>> And the very important thing is medical technology is being developed. Tuberculosis is rate of death disease. >> Tuberculosis raises the rate of death by disease. But inventing vaccine is decreased rate of death. >> But inventing a vaccine will decrease the rate of death. 

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