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Topic: Freedom or equality, which one is more important thing? Most people think that freedom is better than equality, because freedom gives them many benefits. According to economic expert, the more free, the more productive. For example, staffs of our department is hard working, because more working is the best way you earn and you get a valuable reputation. However, I think that equality is more important than freedom. excess freedom give people damages. For example, your mobile phone fee is high, although you usually use your phone. Why does this situation emerge to you? The reason that your mobile phone company manipulates the fee, because it grow as major company that other companies aren't able to compete. However, equality solves the problem. If we stop major companies from manipulating fee, making new laws and impose numerous fine, we would suffer from the problem.

Hello [이름]! I checked your composition below. Please review my corrections. Have a wonderful day! Ciao! ~Teacher Marie~ Most people think that freedom is better than equality, because freedom gives them many benefits. >> Most people think that freedom is better than equality because it gives them many benefits. According to economic expert, the more free, the more productive. >> According to some economic experts, the more free people are, the more productive they become. For example, staffs of our department is hard working, because more working is the best way you earn and you get a valuable reputation. >> For example, the staff in our department are hardworking, because it is the best way for them to earn a valuable reputation.However, I think that equality is more important than freedom. >> CORRECT! excess freedom give people damages. >> Too much freedom has some repercussions. For example, your mobile phone fee is high, although you usually use your phone. >> For example, your mobile phone\'s monthly fee is high, although you rarely use your phone. Why does this situation emerge to you? >> Why does this happen to you? OR >> Why do you experience this situation? The reason that your mobile phone company manipulates the fee, because it grow as major company that other companies aren\'t able to compete. >> The reason why your mobile phone company manipulates the fee, as it grows into a major company, is to compete with other companies. However, equality solves the problem. >> CORRECT! If we stop major companies from manipulating fee, making new laws and impose numerous fine, we would suffer from the problem. >> If we stop these major companies from manipulating the fee, making new laws and imposing numerous fines, then we won\'t suffer from this problem anymore.