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2018-04-20 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

I have an experience to wittness traffic accident few years ago. Actually, I could not see the accident on my eyes, I saw it throught on the TV. It was Ship accident on the sea. Cruser which named was Sewolho was shirinken with unknown causes. This accident became a big issue to all of koreans since many students are died in the ship despite of they have time to evacuate. However, Some misoder make them to stay in the ship so they cannot go out. This accident make people to have doubt on the Government`s handling on governmential disaster. I am very sorry that if Government have adequate order to the ship, many people could evacuate well.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]!

This was a very interesting story.

You were very detailed and clear in your explanation.

Keep it up!^^

~~ Teacher Sharon

I have an experience to wittness traffic accident few years ago.

>> I had an experience where I witnessed an accident a few years ago.
 Actually, I could not see the accident on my eyes, I saw it throught on the TV.

>> Actually, I did not see the accident in person because I just saw it on TV.

It was Ship accident on the sea.

>> It involved a ship accident.

Cruser which named was Sewolho was shirinken with unknown causes.

>> The cruiser named Sewolho sank due to unknown causes.

This accident became a big issue to all of koreans since many students are died in the ship despite of they have time to evacuate.

>> This accident became a big issue for all Koreans since many students died on the ship despite attempts to evacuate.  

However, Some misoder make them to stay in the ship so they cannot go out.

>> However, some mishaps trapped them on the ship so they couldn\'t get out.

This accident make people to have doubt on the Government`s handling on governmential disaster.

>> This accident made people doubt the Government`s capability of handling national disasters.

I am very sorry that if government have adequate order to the ship, many people could evacuate well.

>> I am very sorry to say that if the government had given adequate orders to the ship, many people could have been successfully evacuated.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

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