Homewokr 1
학생이 쓴 원문
It is true that people sleep less time than before in many countries. This essay will discuss why people can\'t sleep longer and how this phenomenon have impact on individual and on society.
Firstly, people sleep less time because they have heavy workloads. Today, many companies enforce people to manage many things in short time, so people struggle to manage their workloads. Also, people sleep less time to study hard in order to develop their ability. It is a well-known fact that it is difficult to get a job in modern society. So, people should develop their ability for their future. Therefore, it is clear that people sleep less than before because they have to manage their heavy workloads and study hard for their future.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
Focus on the balance of your sentences.
You have to use the comparative form of adjectives when differentiating situations.
Your sentences were clear enough.
Practice more!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
It is true that people sleep less time than before in many countries. >> It is true that people sleep lesser than before in many countries.
This essay will discuss why people can\'t sleep longer and how this phenomenon have impact on individual and on society.
>> This essay will discuss why people can\'t sleep longer and how this phenomenon has impacted the individual and the society.
Firstly, people sleep less time because they have heavy workloads.
Firstly, people sleep less time because they have heavy workloads.
>> Firstly, people sleep less because they have a heavy workload.
Today, many companies enforce people to manage many things in short time, so people struggle to manage their workloads.
>> Today, many companies require people to manage many things in just a short time, so, people struggle to manage their workload.
Also, people sleep less time to study hard in order to develop their ability.
>> People also sleep less to study hard in order to develop their abilities.
It is a well-known fact that it is difficult to get a job in modern society.
>> It is a well-known fact that it is difficult to get a job in the modern society.
So, people should develop their ability for their future.
>> So, people should develop their abilities for their future.
Therefore, it is clear that people sleep less than before because they have to manage their heavy workloads and study hard for their future.
>> Therefore, it is clear that people sleep lesser than before because they have to manage their heavy workload and study hard for their future.
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