homework 01.24

2024-01-24 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: How important is cleanliness to you? Why? I think it\'s important to keep our body cleanliness. Managing cleanliness is a different kind of business(name) card. If we are not homebody, we will go outside and will meet other people. And, we will have a social life with other people, like a business and work. In social life, conversation manners and attitudes are also important, but I think personal cleanliness is also important. Because, if I am a perfect person, but if my cleanliness is bad, other people will give me worse reviews. It\'s not talking about handsome and pretty our appearance. This means that managing cleanliness is a mutual manner in social life.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How important is cleanliness to you? Why?

I think it\'s important to keep our body cleanliness.
>> I think it\'s important to keep our body\'s cleanliness.
OR >> I think it\'s important to keep our bodies clean.
Managing cleanliness is a different kind of business(name) card.
>> Managing cleanliness is a different kind of business.
If we are not homebody, we will go outside and will meet other people.
>> If we are not a homebody, we will go outside to meet other people.
And, we will have a social life with other people, like a business and work.
>> And, we need to have a social life with other people, like business and work.
In social life, conversation manners and attitudes are also important, but I think personal cleanliness is also important.
>> In our social life, conversation manners and attitude are also important, but I think personal cleanliness is also important.
OR >> In our social life, conversation manners and attitude are also important, but I think personal cleanliness is important as well.
Because, if I am a perfect person, but if my cleanliness is bad, other people will give me worse reviews.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Because, if I am a perfect person, but if I am unhygienic, other people will think badly of me.
It\'s not talking about handsome and pretty our appearance.
>> I am not talking about being handsome or about the appearance in general.
This means that managing cleanliness is a mutual manner in social life.
>> This means that managing cleanliness is a mutual manner in improving our social life.

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