homework 02.01

2024-02-01 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: What are some popular outdoor activities for children during springtime? Start spring season, we will start again outdoor activities that we stopped during the winter. I think if children\'s parents have outdoor hobbies, they will go camping or they go hiking. Instead, I think when we these activities experience often, these activities become a hobby. On the other hand, if their parents don\'t have outdoor activities hobbies, they usually send their children to the sports academy. There are typical course in Korea. As a children, they usually send their children to sports academies that teach popular sports like a taekwondo(Martial arts in Korea), soccer, basketball, and swimming. If they don\'t send their kids to sports academies, they can\'t control the kids who had full of energy. So, most of parents send their kids to sports academies.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

>> This spring season, we will start again the outdoor activities that we stopped during the winter.

I think if children\'s parents have outdoor hobbies, they will go camping or they will go hiking.

>> CORRECT!

Instead, I think when we these activities experience often, these activities become a hobby.

>> Instead, when we think of these activities that we experience often, these activities become a hobby.

On the other hand, if their parents don\'t have outdoor activities hobbies, they usually send their children to the sports academy.

>> On the other hand, if their parents don\'t have outdoor activities or hobbies, they usually send their children to the sports academy.
There are typical course in Korea.

>> There are typical courses in Korea.

As a children, they usually send their children to sports academies that teach popular sports like a taekwondo(Martial arts in Korea), soccer, basketball, and swimming.

>> As for parents, they usually send their children to sports academies that teach popular sports like taekwondo (Martial arts in Korea), soccer, basketball, and swimming.

If they don\'t send their kids to sports academies, they can\'t control the kids who had full of energy.

>> If they don\'t send their kids to sports academies, they can\'t control the kids who are full of energy.

So, most of parents send their kids to sports academies.

>> So, most parents send their kids to sports academies.

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